I wasn't aware that cocaine causes diarrhea.
--- In [email protected], turquoiseb <no_reply@...> wrote:
>
> The sad but predictable demise of Amy Winehouse and the inevitable
> discussion of drugs, combined with other even more predictable topics
> that arose like clockwork overnight on FFL got me to thinking about
> drugs, and their relationship to obsession. I think a case can be made
> for obsession being a form of drug addiction. Those who obsess on
> another human being, especially for long periods of time, seem to share
> a lot of traits with long-term drug addicts.
>
> So, naturally, my warped mind being what it is, I started to amuse
> myself by trying to figure out *which* drugs certain FFL posters were
> most like, given the behavior of the folks who obsess on them. Be
> warned. :-)
>
> I tried to imagine a die-hard FDA or DEA agent stumbling onto Fairfield
> Life, noticing the prevalence of obsessive behavior, and assuming that
> drugs were involved. Which drugs would such an agent "map" to which
> posters? Would the posters who consistently provoked the most responses
> from other posters be Schedule I drugs (addictive, no real medical
> benefits) or Schedule II drugs (some medical benefits, yet still very
> addictive and with nasty side effects). Would the posters who rarely get
> replied to -- especially in a consistently obsessive way -- be
> categorized as non-drugs, or as fairly benevolent recreational
> chemicals? Here's my shot at it:
>
> I'm thinking that Agent Smith would probably categorize MZ (Robin) as
> Ecstasy, laced with a little ketamine, and swilled down with an energy
> drink like Red Bull. Not everybody's cuppa tea, but if you're the kinda
> user who wants to dance all night to essentially the same song,
> infinitely repeated with only minor variations like Techno music, this
> is the drug of choice for you.
>
> Curtis would be a good Moroccan hash. NOT that downer hash from India or
> the Himalayas that leaves you not only flat on your back unable to move
> but kinda depressed and not enjoying it very much. No, Curtis hash
> produces a high buzz, often accompanied by great clarity, and even more
> often accompanied by laughter. The Curtis drug is non-addicting, so
> those who enjoy it do so when it's around, but don't miss it overmuch
> when it's not. On the other hand, Just Say No zealots who don't like the
> sight of other people laughing often crave it desperately, and hope that
> a new batch of Curtis hits the streets soon, just so they can rag on it.
>
> Vaj would probably be classified by Agent Smith as heroin, or possibly
> PCP, the latter because a little taste of it seems to make some users
> bat-shit crazy, and violent. One of the things that would lead to Vaj
> being mapped to heroin is the attempt by those who obsess on him to
> portray folks who either like his posts or fail to condemn them as
> low-life junkies shooting up in some darkened alley.
>
> Barry is clearly cocaine. Some users seem to enjoy the momentary buzz,
> but neither crave it nor obsess on it. For others, however, it's very
> addictive, and very much like the olde one-liner: "A little snort of
> cocaine makes you feel like a new man; the only trouble is that the
> first thing the new man wants is a little snort of cocaine." Those who
> obsess on the Barry drug -- especially negatively -- seem to crave it
> desperately, and even see it where it really isn't. It's like coke heads
> I've known who would compulsively assume that any white powder they see
> spilled on a table or kitchen counter was cocaine, and thus end up
> grabbing a straw and snorting up vast quantities of white flour or
> powdered sugar. And the amazing thing is that the ones who do this seem
> to get just as bent behind their imaginary cocaine as they would the
> real thing. Real Barry-coke or placebo Barry-coke, it doesn't matter;
> all it takes is a snort of something that reminds them of Barry and they
> start acting like Andy Garcia's character in the film "8 Million Ways To
> Die" or Al Pacino's character in "Scarface."
>
> :-)
>
