--- In [email protected], "curtisdeltablues" <curtisdeltablues@...> wrote: > > --- In [email protected], "Alex Stanley" <j_alexander_stanley@> > wrote: > > > I'll have to have Rory give me 50 lashings for missing the opportunity to > > say, "The Buck stops here." > > > > The save counts, I missed it too. > > BTW is this service Rory renders an hourly rate or is it billed by intensity? > (Cat-o-nine with the metal tips only in the premium Mel Gibson package.) > > Can we supply our own dialogue? Don't want to skeeve anyone out too badly > but I would love to be taunted will being whipped: > > "You magical thinker, your epistemology has more holes than a pasta strainer, > your premises are dirty, I mean faulty, they are unfounded on either > empirical evidence or even sound reasoning. You are a dirty believer aren't > you now, a dirty, dirty believer who accepts things on faith you read in > books that support slavery and the oppression of women, and you love it don't > you? You love your ancient texts full of superstitions because you are a > superstitious boy yourself, aren't you now? You are a bad thinking, a bad > bad thinker, your thinking is bad and you are wrong but you don't care > because you don't love knowledge, you just want to protect your special class > of ideas that you hold for bad, bad, dirty reasons. > > Now tell me you love your masters, all of them, including Sai Baba, say you > love Sai Baba and you believe in the second coming of Maitreya and crop > circles as alien messages and the hairy monstrous bigfoot (not Bevan)and you > believe that John Hegelin has proven scientifically, beyond any doubt, that > the chilled-out feeling in meditation IS the basis for the universe, and you > believe it because you feel it is right in your dirty, dirty, illogical mind. > And you love disco too. You love the pounding beat like a cranial jackhammer > pounding in the rhythms of the night.And you eat at McDonalds more than Jason > Spurlock did for that 30 days because you hate to cook." > > > Wow! I'm just glad I didn't admit that outside my own head. That is not the > kind of confession I would like to go into cyberspace for others to see...hey > what is this button for that says send...ooops * * Thank you for your interest in our unique services, Curtis. Before you sign with us, please carefully read the fine print below:
A: All of our services are unconditionally free, unlimited, and based upon our client's genuine willingness to receive, once you have unburdened yourself of all of your physical goods and chattels, estate(s) both real and personal, and prior metaphysical concepts and/or beliefs by charitable donation to us. B: You may try deducting any or all of your charitable donation(s) on your federal income-tax return, but we are not responsible for how the IRS decides to treat your deduction and, consequently, to treat you. For that matter, we cannot and shall not be held responsible for any aspect of your life, as defined by you, anywhere in any dimension at any time: past, present or future, real or imagined. C: In some circumstances and for as long as we deem necessary, we may also require other uncoerced donations, including but not limited to any or all of your time, energy, talents, emotions, health, relationships, reputation, self-esteem, and/or sanity, as conventionally defined. Depending upon the nature of your attachment(s), as determined by us, we may or may not return all or any of these donations, or any portion thereof, to you, should you decide to leave us at any time, or should we at any time decide to downsize you. Should such a decision on the part of either party become necessary, you will be responsible for forming your own exit strategies and/or finding or creating your own support-group to attempt a "recovery". In re any responsibility on our part, please review Paragraph B, above. D: In return for your sizable donation(s) you will probably receive room, board, course credits, a modest living stipend, and a temporary set of "working beliefs" for as long as you continue to interest us, though we reserve the right to revoke any or all of these, temporarily or permanently, at any time for any reason, stated or unstated. If and when you no longer interest us, you're on your own. (See also paragraph C, above.) If your donations amount to $1,000,000 or more, you may also be required to wear ridiculous costumes in public and participate in other masochistic rituals, as we deem suitable. (Your signature here) As you probably have already heard, Curtis, we are a full-spectrum service, offering everything from the very highest-intensity mind-blowing ultraviolation down to the fundamentally warm and tingly infra-rediwhipping you mention above. But Curtis, we feel you would be wasting your talents as a client; with your multiple gifts of tongues, charisma, and dramaturgy, you really should consider working with us as an administrator. How would the role of trans-sexual dominatrix strike you (no pun intended)?
