--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Share Long <sharelong60@...> wrote: > > I was reflecting back to Xeno what he himself expressed.
I am not sure what "reflecting back" means here then because it looked like you were saying YOU felt that a malignant diagnosis would be fine too, from your viewpoint. We already knew what Xeno's experience was. I was interested in your honest to goodness take on that based on your own conjecture of what you might do especially as you most likely know yourself far better than I do.  Nice try though. Obviously not good enough since all you have done here is snap and react at me. You know I am not that scary or mean or unfair or out to "get" people just for the hell of it.  Face it, Ann, you and Emily just don't get me at all. I'll face it when and if I want to or think it is necessary. Right now I "get" more than you are giving me credit for but I will admit your knee jerk reactions to me are puzzling. You assume that you need to defend yourself against me and when you do that you get really offensively defensive and non communicative and it perpetuates our inability to talk to each other. It is hard talking to a wall that keeps dropping bricks on my head.  And probably I don't get you two either. That's why I generally choose not to engage with you two. It's pointless. You give up too easily Share. You seem to have an inexhaustible capacity to search for the ultimate healer or someone who can take away whatever pain you speak about in your life yet you drop the ball in immediate interpersonal, available interaction with ordinary people like myself. Nowhere and nothing is actually safe Share. Everything involves a degree of risk. You act like I am scarier, more formidable than a diagnosis of terminal cancer. > > > > > ________________________________ > From: Ann <awoelflebater@...> > To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com > Sent: Wednesday, February 20, 2013 4:48 PM > Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Capitalization, on FFL > > >  > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Share Long wrote: > > > > Glad result was non malignant.àEven though on one level malignant would > > have been ok too > > And you really, experientially believe that? That you could pull off that > statement when faced with that kind of grim diagnosis? I say very, very few > people could stand there and shrug it off, no corresponding shot of > adrenaline hitting you like a sledgehammer as you hear those words. Just > standing there with a sublime, accepting beatific expression on your face > thinking, "This is ok too..." > > > > For me that not worrying is also a kind of almost dumb trustingness.àSo > > there is an emotional quality to it but not mushy gushy emotions like > > before.àBecause every emotion contains its opposite.àLike two waves > > canceling each other out.àThey both are still there, only still, > > vibrating with possibility.àAt first it can seem very odd indeed, but > > then it's fun.àAnd a blessing.àWhat a great gift it has been for me > > to have a sense of humor emerge just as the body is falling apart (-: > > > > > > > > > > ________________________________ > > From: Xenophaneros Anartaxius > > To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com > > Sent: Wednesday, February 20, 2013 3:10 PM > > Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Capitalization, on FFL > > > > > > à> > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Xenophaneros Anartaxius" wrote: > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Share Long wrote: > > > > > > > > Xeno, I bet you can appreciate this: last week my best friend and I > > > > were laughing our heads off because we both thought we were having > > > > heart attacks. On the same day! > > > > > > > But you perhaps unintentionally raise a good question: is it better to > > > > live miserably or die happily? Meanwhile I say enjoy the cunning > > > > philosophers who think up such questions to entertain the body mind on > > > > a wintry day. > > > > > > > But Xeno what about this sentence: The cat is the cat. Such a > > > > sentence seems to be self contained and thus not needing any sensory > > > > experience to support its validity. Its internal logic validates it. > > > > > > Yes, this is a tautology. A statement that is always true. Self > > > validating. The form is 'x = x'. X can be anything, real or imaginary. It > > > is not a proposition because it expresses nothing. It is empty. Like > > > enlightenment, 'selling water by the river' as the Zen master said. True, > > > but nothing to it. > > > > > > > Which is kind of what happens with Beingness. It is self validating. > > > > There is simply the living of it. Yes, it is very difficult to put > > > > into words. And I do think a lot of long term TMers are at this stage > > > > now. They are simply living Beingness. With little or no thinking > > > > about it. And they are experiencing it as the most ordinary thing > > > > there is. The most transparent thing there is. Both the most strong > > > > and the most vulnerable thing there is. And then one can only laugh > > > > one's head off at the absurdity of it all. Which I think FFL perfectly > > > > mirrors (-: > > > > > > Indeed. > > > > > Additionally (I wrote something earlier and Yahoo's software sent my > > response into the aether and giving me an error message), there is the > > phrase 'The Absolute Being' (appropriately and imposingly captialised), > > which as we become spiritually aware, instigates a search far and wide for > > that which is at all times in plain sight, hidden in total obviousness, as > > we puff ourselves up with our discoveries along the path which we think is > > there. Finally, the bubble bursts and all is well. > > > > Speaking of heart attacks. I was in the hospital the other week. A biopsy. > > The following week I went to the doctor's office, as they had not called. A > > nurse, the 'clinical supervisor' had to figure out the results from the > > report as the doctor was on vacation. I do not know what she was thinking, > > but I was just standing there knowing that the result was either malignant > > or not malignant, but it did not matter which because one result or the > > other was the only outcome, and which ever one, the course that followed > > was inevitable and there was no arguing with either way. This is why it is > > called 'the absolute being'. As it turned out, it was not malignant, but > > still there might be some consequences, which I have not yet been told. The > > mind did not go into a routine like 'oh no, I hope it is not that'. I was > > just standing there thinking, 'this is really fascinating, I wonder which > > way it will be!', as if there was some new discovery about life to unfold. > > > > The absence of worry about the future seems to be one of the major benefits > > of spirituality as it matures, not because you believe something will be a > > certain way, but because there really is no choice about which way will > > manifest. You just get to live the way it goes, and the mind no longer > > imposes its interpretation (at least most of the time), on the situation > > coming forward. Rather the mind becomes a tool to navigate what is > > happening rather than an obstacle to what is happening, resiting what is > > transpiring in an attempt to maintain an unrealistic world view. > > >
