Oh Christ, these just keep getting better and better.
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, doctordumbass@... <no_reply@...> wrote:
>
> FFL Main Dining Room
> Menu for Today, April 29th, 2013
>
> *Appetizers*
>
> -Dick Mays dry toast, always served room temperature.
> -MJ's freshly beaten horse meat, prepared to order.
> -Merde du Mer A daring appetizer, offered on our public menu for the first
> time. This exciting creation starts with "night soil" from the deep; a
> mixture of fish, mammal, and, yes, human waste, collected diligently by Sous
> Chef Barry, and his mom, from the crystal clear waters off Port Arthur,
> Texas. After UV sterilization, the drying process, and a secret mixture of
> spices, this novel creation is flash cooked in a pizza oven, until crispy.
> Said Sous Chef Barry, "I like to offer people shit, and see if they'll eat
> it...".
>
> *Soups*
>
> -Chef Xeno's renowned Archer-Alexander Clam Chowder (please read ingredients
> on back of menu).
> -Extra Cheezy Faux Gazpacho, made with fresh Velveeta, home-made popcorn,
> Ritz crackers (for that mock apple pie flavor), half a bottle of ketchup, and
> a dash or three of habanero sauce, then haphazardly stirred over a period of
> several days More than a meal in itself. New recipe! From the Kitchens of
> Doctor Dumbass(R).
>
> *Entrees*
>
> Skewered Curtis, shish-ka-bobbed beautifully by Chef Ravi, grilled nearly
> until done, finished in a tart lemon sauce, and topped with an American flag.
> One of these is enough for any diner.
>
> The Wolf Baiter. Don't take this one on, unless you've got plenty of
> appetite. This 22 ounce favorite begins with deconstructed Filet Mignon and
> hearty sauces, though never confused in identity or flavor. Delightful
> finish. Pairs neatly with a dry or semi-sweet wine.
>
> ER Diet Plate, a light assortment of sautéed vegetables, served with a
> thoughtful Chamomile tea. Best enjoyed with Led Zep on the I-Phone.
>
> Crop Circlet, by Chef Nablus. When the diner first confronts this dish, he,
> or she, sees nothing unusual. After a short time however, a lettuce leaf is
> turned under, there is a nearly undetectable slash through the cherry tomato,
> the spinach with a pat of butter suddenly takes on the appearance of a green
> mandala! Be amazed when Nabby plays with your food!
>
> Buck's Basic Feed. Experience a meal from the pioneer days, as Chef Buck
> whips up one of his favorites, Possum Pie, with Fresh Wild Turkey Giblets,
> smothered in Raw Oats, and save room for the Huckleberry Pie!
>
> Kick Ass Kasserole. Chef R. Dog starts things off with a bang, combining 15
> different varieties of pepper, an entire bottle of grey goose vodka, reduced
> over medium heat to a single tablespoon of intense taste, then ladled over a
> perfectly prepared swordfish steak, sword included. Best enjoyed with
> balloons and a cocktail or two.
>
> *Desserts*
>
> Judiliscious Baked Alaska. The size of this treat for the sweet tooth is
> deceiving. Served in a delicate porcelain cup, some diners simply refuse to
> finish it Richness, complexity and above all, endless layers of pastry.
>
> Share, Share Alike, and be ready for a sugar coma! This scrumptious sugary
> dream begins with, you guessed it, SUGAR! In a glass two gallon bowl, Chef
> Share starts with a full bottle of Hershey's chocolate flavored syrup, after
> that, 12 oz. m and m's, four ea. Mars, Milky Way, Three Musketeers, and
> Reeses peanut butter cups. Top with one pound dark chocolate chips, and 16
> oz. pure granulated sugar. Ask your service person about our "eat with your
> hands" option for this one!
>
> *Beverages*
>
> -Robin's Milk (yep, we were confused too, until we tried it!). Imported.
> -Steve-O (bottles only). A favorite for children of all ages! Delicious any
> time of day.
>
> *Music performed in the lounge area by Barry2 and srijau.*
>
