[FairfieldLife] 7 Habits of Chronically Unhappy People

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 7 Habits of Chronically Unhappy People 
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 7 Habits of Chronically Unhappy People 
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 Throughout the years, I've learned there are certain traits and habits 
chronically unhappy people seem to have mastered. But before diving in ...
 
 
 
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 I often teach about happiness and what has become exceedingly clear is this: 
There are seven qualities chronically unhappy people have mastered. According 
to Psychology Today 
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201306/what-happy-people-do-differently,
 University of California researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky states: "40 percent of 
our of our capacity for happiness is within our power to change."
 If this is true and it is, there's hope for us all. There are billions of 
people on our planet and clearly some are truly happy. The rest of us bounce 
back and forth between happiness and unhappiness depending on the day.
 Throughout the years, I've learned there are certain traits and habits 
chronically unhappy people seem to have mastered. But before diving in with 
you, let me preface this and say: we all have bad days, even weeks when we fall 
down in all seven areas.
 The difference between a happy and unhappy life is how often and how long we 
stay there.

Here are the 7 qualities of chronically unhappy people.

 1. Your default belief is that life is hard.

 Happy people know life can be hard and tend to bounce through hard times with 
an attitude of curiosity versus victimhood. They take responsibility for how 
they got themselves into a mess, and focus on getting themselves out of it as 
soon as possible.
 Perseverance towards problem versus complaining over circumstances is a 
symptom of a happy person. Unhappy people see themselves as victims of life and 
stay stuck in the "look what happened to me" attitude versus finding a way 
through and out the other side.
 2. You believe most people can't be trusted.

 I won't argue that healthy discernment is important, but most happy people are 
trusting of their fellow man. They believe in the good in people, versus 
assuming everyone is out to get them. Generally open and friendly towards 
people they meet, happy people foster a sense of community around themselves 
and meet new people with an open heart.
 Unhappy people are distrustful of most people they meet and assume that 
strangers can't be trusted. Unfortunately this behavior slowly starts to close 
the door on any connection outside of an inner-circle and thwarts all chances 
of meeting new friends.
 3. You concentrate on what's wrong in this world versus what's right.

 There's plenty wrong with this world, no arguments here, yet unhappy people 
turn a blind eye to what's actually right in this world and instead focus on 
what's wrong. You can spot them a mile away, they'll be the ones complaining 
and responding to any positive attributes of our world with "yeah but".
 Happy people are aware of global issues, but balance their concern with also 
seeing what's right. I like to call this keeping both eyes open. Unhappy people 
tend to close one eye towards anything good in this world in fear they might be 
distracted from what's wrong. Happy people keep it in perspective. They know 
our world has problems and they also keep an eye on what's right.
 4. You compare yourself to others and harbor jealousy.

 Unhappy people believe someone else's good fortune steals from their own. They 
believe there's not enough goodness to go around and constantly compare yours 
against theirs. This leads to jealousy and resentment.
 Happy people know that your good luck and circumstance are merely signs of 
what they too can aspire to achieve. Happy people believe they carry a unique 
blueprint that can't be duplicated or stolen from -- by anyone on the planet. 
They believe in unlimited possibilities and don't get bogged down by thinking 
one person's good fortune limits their possible outcome in life.
 5. You strive to control your life.

 There's a difference between control and striving to achieve our goals. Happy 
people take steps daily to achieve their goals, but realize in the end, there's 
very little control over what life throws their way.
 Unhappy people tend to micromanage in effort to control all outcomes and fall 
apart in dramatic display when life throws a wrench in their plan. Happy people 
can be just as focused, yet still have the ability to go with the flow and not 
melt down when life delivers a curve-ball.
 The key here is to be goal-oriented and focused, but allow room for letting 
sh*t happen without falling apart when the best laid plans go awry- because 
they will. Going with the flow is what happy people have as plan B.
 6 You consider your future with worry and fear.

 There's only so much rent space between your ears. Unhappy people fill their 
thoughts with what could go wrong versus what might go right.
 Happy people take on a healthy dose of delusion and allow themselves to 
daydream about what they'd like to have life unfold for them. Unhappy people 
fill that head space with constant worry and fear.
 Happy people experience fear and worry, but make an important distinction 
between feeling it and living it. When fear or worry crosses a happy person's 
mind, they'll ask themselves if there's an action they can be taken to prevent 
their fear or worry from happening (there's responsibility again) and they take 
it. If not, they realize they're spinning in fear and they lay it down.
 7. You fill your conversations with gossip and complaints.

 Unhappy people like to live in the past. What's happened to them and life's 
hardships are their conversation of choice. When they run out of things to say, 
they'll turn to other people's lives and gossip.
 Happy people live in the now and dream about the future. You can feel their 
positive vibe from across the room. They're excited about something they're 
working on, grateful for what they have and dreaming about the possibilities of 
life.
 Obviously none of us are perfect. We're all going to swim in negative waters 
once in a while, but what matters is how long we stay there and how quickly we 
work to get ourselves out. Practicing positive habits daily is what sets happy 
people apart from unhappy people, not doing everything perfectly.
 
 Walk, fall down, get back up again, repeat. It's in the getting back up again 
where all the difference resides.