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From: "'Richard J. Williams' pundits...@gmail.com [FairfieldLife]"
<FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com>
To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 19, 2014 1:15 PM
Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] 7 Habits of Chronically Unhappy People
On 11/19/2014 9:40 AM, Michael Jackson mjackso...@yahoo.com
[FairfieldLife] wrote:
The 8th habit is to deny they are unhappy and claim they are happy cuz of
TM
>
You are not even making any sense. Nobody I know says they are both unhappy
and happy, at the same time. That would be a case of cognitive dissonance.
Actually the first habit of chronically unhappy people is they don't take
responsibility for their own actions and accept that they are the cause of
their own unhappiness.
>
From: "fleetwood_macnche...@yahoo.com [FairfieldLife]"
<FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com>
To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 19, 2014 9:17 AM
Subject: [FairfieldLife] 7 Habits of Chronically Unhappy People
7 Habits of Chronically Unhappy People
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| 7 Habits of Chronically Unhappy People Throughout the years, I've
learned there are certain traits and habits chronically unhappy people seem to
have mastered. But before diving in ... |
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| View on www.huffingtonpost.com | Preview by Yahoo |
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I often teach about happiness and what has become exceedingly clear is this:
There are seven qualities chronically unhappy people have mastered.
According to Psychology Today, University of California researcher Sonja
Lyubomirsky states: "40 percent of our of our capacity for happiness is within
our power to change." If this is true and it is, there's hope for us all. There
are billions of people on our planet and clearly some are truly happy. The rest
of us bounce back and forth between happiness and unhappiness depending on the
day. Throughout the years, I've learned there are certain traits and habits
chronically unhappy people seem to have mastered. But before diving in with
you, let me preface this and say: we all have bad days, even weeks when we fall
down in all seven areas. The difference between a happy and unhappy life is
how often and how long we stay there.
Here are the 7 qualities of chronically unhappy people.
1. Your default belief is that life is hard.
Happy people know life can be hard and tend to bounce through hard times
with an attitude of curiosity versus victimhood. They take responsibility for
how they got themselves into a mess, and focus on getting themselves out of it
as soon as possible. Perseverance towards problem versus complaining over
circumstances is a symptom of a happy person. Unhappy people see themselves as
victims of life and stay stuck in the "look what happened to me" attitude
versus finding a way through and out the other side. 2. You believe most
people can't be trusted.
I won't argue that healthy discernment is important, but most happy people
are trusting of their fellow man. They believe in the good in people, versus
assuming everyone is out to get them. Generally open and friendly towards
people they meet, happy people foster a sense of community around themselves
and meet new people with an open heart. Unhappy people are distrustful of most
people they meet and assume that strangers can't be trusted. Unfortunately this
behavior slowly starts to close the door on any connection outside of an
inner-circle and thwarts all chances of meeting new friends. 3. You
concentrate on what's wrong in this world versus what's right.
There's plenty wrong with this world, no arguments here, yet unhappy people
turn a blind eye to what's actually right in this world and instead focus on
what's wrong. You can spot them a mile away, they'll be the ones complaining
and responding to any positive attributes of our world with "yeah but". Happy
people are aware of global issues, but balance their concern with also seeing
what's right. I like to call this keeping both eyes open. Unhappy people tend
to close one eye towards anything good in this world in fear they might be
distracted from what's wrong. Happy people keep it in perspective. They know
our world has problems and they also keep an eye on what's right. 4. You
compare yourself to others and harbor jealousy.
Unhappy people believe someone else's good fortune steals from their own.
They believe there's not enough goodness to go around and constantly compare
yours against theirs. This leads to jealousy and resentment. Happy people know
that your good luck and circumstance are merely signs of what they too can
aspire to achieve. Happy people believe they carry a unique blueprint that
can't be duplicated or stolen from -- by anyone on the planet. They believe in
unlimited possibilities and don't get bogged down by thinking one person's good
fortune limits their possible outcome in life. 5. You strive to control your
life.
There's a difference between control and striving to achieve our goals.
Happy people take steps daily to achieve their goals, but realize in the end,
there's very little control over what life throws their way. Unhappy people
tend to micromanage in effort to control all outcomes and fall apart in
dramatic display when life throws a wrench in their plan. Happy people can be
just as focused, yet still have the ability to go with the flow and not melt
down when life delivers a curve-ball. The key here is to be goal-oriented and
focused, but allow room for letting sh*t happen without falling apart when the
best laid plans go awry- because they will. Going with the flow is what happy
people have as plan B. 6 You consider your future with worry and fear.
There's only so much rent space between your ears. Unhappy people fill their
thoughts with what could go wrong versus what might go right. Happy people take
on a healthy dose of delusion and allow themselves to daydream about what
they'd like to have life unfold for them. Unhappy people fill that head space
with constant worry and fear. Happy people experience fear and worry, but make
an important distinction between feeling it and living it. When fear or worry
crosses a happy person's mind, they'll ask themselves if there's an action they
can be taken to prevent their fear or worry from happening (there's
responsibility again) and they take it. If not, they realize they're spinning
in fear and they lay it down. 7. You fill your conversations with gossip and
complaints.
Unhappy people like to live in the past. What's happened to them and life's
hardships are their conversation of choice. When they run out of things to say,
they'll turn to other people's lives and gossip. Happy people live in the now
and dream about the future. You can feel their positive vibe from across the
room. They're excited about something they're working on, grateful for what
they have and dreaming about the possibilities of life. Obviously none of us
are perfect. We're all going to swim in negative waters once in a while, but
what matters is how long we stay there and how quickly we work to get ourselves
out. Practicing positive habits daily is what sets happy people apart from
unhappy people, not doing everything perfectly. Walk, fall down, get back up
again, repeat. It's in the getting back up again where all the difference
resides.
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