--- In [email protected], Rick Archer <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > on 11/22/05 3:28 PM, authfriend at [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: > > > > I'm simply saying that isn't the case with me. > > I have no idea what enlightenment is like; I > > only know it isn't what *ignorance* is like. > > It's like, people in chat groups who ordinarily get on your nerves and cause > you to react are no longer capable of doing so. >
Enlightenment is what is left over after the curtain of maya is drawn aside. What the journey of realization felt like to me, was that there was always a momentum within me, something waiting and wanting to fully discover itself, a yearning, that no amount of distraction, slowing down, forgetting, or justifying would get rid of. I used to keep a journal. In it were the high points, the experiences that let me know that this unnamed thing, myself, was learning, and simultaneously, these were the rare moments of validation, and the experiences of a semblance of sorely needed inner peace. I knew all of the theory about my meditation practice. I had made all of the intellectual and emotional assumptions about what enlightenment probably was. I had triangulated my position in the quest many, many times; comparing symptoms, trying to feel what I felt like, inside. As concepts and boundaries and ideas percolated to the top of my mind, I'd explore them, sometimes intellectually, sometimes physically. I continued to chart my milestones as best as I could. And still, that gnawing sense within me, to somehow break through, and join the rest of the world. As much as I wanted to experience unity (or Unity, if you prefer), I was also terrified of it, for I thought that if there were no boundaries between me and you, you'd really know me! Oh, the fear! So I continued, to surface and explore my dark places; emotions, thoughts and experiences hidden away, guarded behind many gates. And as each one saw the light of day, each challenge eventually succeeding, that thing inside me grew brighter, challenged me, pushed me further, stripped away more of my defenses, left me both emboldened and miserable. There was no place left to go, except push on in the direction of fewer boundaries. The more I tried to manipulate and understand my life, the less sense it made, almost as if any attempts at controlling and willing its direction were transformed into rude surprises, stunning failures, and gigantic embarrassments. And at the same time, that within me was sensing its triumph, sensing that the years of going for broke were succeeding. My so- called spiritual experiences were powerful and real. My intellect was beginning to take on an unbelievable clarity. My perceptions of the outside world were becoming so overwhelmingly comprehensive that I could not assimilate it all, the fire hose was full! Something had to give. Soon, it did. It was as if my body and mind were finally educated enough, had reached a critical mass of I-don't-know-what, to fully accept and become the home of the Self, Atman, mirror of God, Jivan Mukta. In hindsight, it has been very easy to see the truth of the saying, "the Self unfolds itself by itself, for itself, to itself". Now I know what was causing that yearning, that momentum, that restlessness. And yet, as many have commented, the Self is not a static entity. It is truly universal. Any attempt to put the attention on the Self leads instantly to Infinity. All possibilities. It is because of that fact; that the Self is infinite, that it holds inherently within its nature all possibilities, that no two journeys of the uncovering of the Self are the same. That is why the nature of seeking enlightenment, or realization, is so frustrating sometimes. On the one hand, there is no way to avoid it, and yet in order to reach the goal, the process to follow is in the hands of the Realization itself, not within the one who seeks realization; not discerned by ourselves who are seeking liberation, realization, enlightenment. It is the very nature of that process that both breaks all of our boundaries as we seek it, and teaches us the very nature of our Selves. In order for the goal to be reached, we necessarily become the living embodiment of the Transcendent, for by reaching the goal of realization, we have proven that we have transcended fully our relative nature, every last speck of it. It is conquered, it is understood, it is transmuted into Self. It is the most unique achievement we can have as human beings. Infinitely complex and arduous to accomplish, yet absolutely irreproducible by anyone else. Uniquely personal to each of us is our journey to liberation, our journey to our Selves. No one else can follow our path. Have you ever heard of anything so crazy? It is like the architect of a skyscraper saying, Yes, I built that, but if you try to follow my blueprint carefully, as I have described it, in careful and loving detail, you will most certainly fail. And yet, there may be a tool or two on the drafting table which will be useful for you...Yet even if you succeed, your skyscraper will look nothing like mine... ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> Get fast access to your favorite Yahoo! Groups. Make Yahoo! your home page http://us.click.yahoo.com/dpRU5A/wUILAA/yQLSAA/JjtolB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
