--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, TurquoiseB <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Irmeli Mattsson" 
> <Irmeli.Mattsson@> wrote:
> >
> > One emotion there is however that I don't easily experience 
> > and that is getting hurt of something someone says to me. 
> > Often I may not even observe the insult, or if I observe I 
> > may react by getting furious and try to express why I felt 
> > the person's behaviour was inconsiderate or stupid.
> 
> "Who" is being insulted?
> 
> If you've experienced every notion you've ever had of who 
> and what you are dissolving into light, over and over and
> over, what's left to be insulted, or to resent the insult?
>
****
What makes me react by fury sometimes is, when my husband keeps on
nagging and nagging to me about some minor details in a weary tone.
There maybe  some drops of juice on the kitchen floor that he feels on
his soles. Or there is something in the layout in my work he does not
like, which I think is very easy for him to change.  I just cannot
know exactly what he wants. He expresses it as if I were deliberately
tormenting him by this kind of behaviour.

 Usually I don't  care about his nagging at all. And then suddenly I
feel insulted and frustrated by it and get ballistic. And then he
often runs off, because I tend to put my words in a way that hurt him
deeply. No name-calling. I just do a deep analysis of him.

Earlier he could feel hurt for a week or two, during which he didn't
speak to me. Nowadays most of it goes away in one day.  When I get
hurt, it lasts only for the moment of my blast and then it is gone. 

This probably is not the most smart behaviour. However I have not come
upon a better way of dealing with my frustration. I have also tried to
correct the details he gets irritated about. That is however no
solution, because then he gets irritated about something that didn't
irritate him before.

But this is not a cause of suffering to me, but a challenge it is,
that I have not been capable of solving. To be quite honest I also
enjoy these blasts.

Irmeli






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