--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, TurquoiseB <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
wrote:
>
> Main Entry: quan·da·ry
> Pronunciation: 'kwän-d(&-)rE
> Etymology: origin unknown
> : a state of perplexity or doubt 
>
> So I've got this friend. (Really...as you'll be able
> to tell, this isn't one of those It's-really-about-
> me-but-I'll-pretend-it's-about-a-friend thangs.)
> In some ways he's a total inspiration and a reminder
> that one really can get through this life on faith
> alone. In others he's a reminder of the addictive
> nature of faith, and the fact that often people
> other than the addict wind up paying for the latest
> fix.
>
> Basically, this fellow was a TM teacher but I never
> knew him then. I met K. in the Rama trip and we
> became buddies. We left the Rama trip at about the
> same time, at the right time, before everything got
> really gnarly and the guy offed himself. Since then,
> we've mainly lived in different places but have kept
> in touch via email and phone.
>
> The inspiring part is that the man lives on faith.
> Like the recently-mentioned yogis who get their
> nourishment from the sun, K. hasn't worked at a
> real, 9-to-5 job that pays actual money since, I
> think, 1980. He decided at some point that he was
> going to spend the rest of the incarnation "working
> only for the dharma" and trusting in the world to
> provide for him. The inspiring part is that it has,
> in the form of other people paying all his bills
> for him, while he works his butt off helping his
> various spiritual teachers teach. He's always managed
> to find a place to live, enough food to get by,
> traveling expenses to places all over the world,
> and even a girlfriend who shares his approach to
> life. It's amazing when you think of it. It just
> doesn't compute.
>
> Another inspiring part is that K. is one of those
> guys who lives almost entirely in the present. He
> has to; as far as I can tell he has no memory. We
> used to joke about his standard movie review line.
> He walks out of the theater and says, "That was
> the best film I've ever seen in my entire life."
> And he says this even if the film was a total turkey,
> and he's telling the truth every time, because as
> near as I can figure out, he really can't *remember*
> any other films he's ever seen. Therefore the latest
> really *is* the best.
>
> But that's also the thing that inspires the quandary.
> K. has this thing about always needing a spiritual
> teacher in his life. It's the mechanism he uses to
> keep his faith yang up, and IMO to pull what he needs
> to get by from the universe. He can't trust in himself
> as teacher or his path as the path. We've talked about
> this; he always needs someone else to be the teacher
> and to provide the path for him. Because of the memory
> thang, K. really can't remember any of the teachers
> he's worked with but the latest one, and for the
> latest one he's totally "sold out," as they used to
> say in the TMO.
>
> So every few months I get another email from K.
> asking for money so that he can go to X country and
> spend some quality time with Y teacher. For him its'
> always a new email, one that has no history. But
> for me, on the receiving end, it's the 23rd. such
> email I've gotten since we walked away from the Rama
> trip, and the 23rd. teacher, and the 23rd. adventure
> he wants someone else to pay for. For him it's the
> *only* adventure, but I, with less faith than him and
> with the ability to remember all the adventures that
> went before, recognize it as only the latest, and
> probably far from the last.
>
> So that's the quandary. Do I send him some money,
> in honor of his enduring faith and the fact that
> he still has faith in a faithless world? Or do I
> not, knowing that from another point of view he's
> a spiritual teacher addict, and I'm essentially
> one of the people enabling him to remain an addict
> by paying for it?
>
> You people have been around the block. What do
> you think?
>
Personally, after 23 such beggings, I would write him a nice letter
in order to sustain the friendship, but probably forgo the donation.

Why is it any different from K. just sending out letters to mooch
off of others, regardless of his intentions? The veneer of spiritual
quest just adds some romance and drama to what he is doing, but it
doesn't guarantee he is getting anything more out of it than the
proverbial free lunch.

While you're at it Barry, I'm a little light in the wallet this
week. I've meditated faithfully for years and am totally sold out on
my God trip. So whadd'ya say? a few simoleons my way? ; )






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