--- In [email protected], Sal Sunshine <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> 
wrote:
>
> On Oct 13, 2006, at 1:17 AM, TurquoiseB wrote:
> 
> >> Judy, has it ever occurred to you that adults don't
> >> tell other adults what they'd "like you to do"?  That
> >> it's usually up to the person to decide for him/herself
> >> what is best?  I guess not.
> >
> > Some people are only comfortable in a situation in
> > which they are constantly told what to do and what
> > not to do. After thirty years or so of this, they
> > aspire not to enlightenment but to telling other
> > people what to do and what not to do.  :-)
> 
> Exactly.  Condescension becomes a way of life, and
> if you can't beat em, join em, I guess.
> 
> It's very doubtful Judy would put up with the manipulation
> in the TMO were it to really occur with anyone else, with any 
> frequency at all. She'd simply find a new doctor, dentist or 
> whatever.  But it's impossible to admit she's been taken in
> all these years.

For the record, if I had a doctor who phrased her
recommendations as "Do this!" I'd be a lot more
likely to look for a different doctor than if she
said, "Perhaps it would be best if..."  I prefer being
treated like an adult.

Sal, most of the time your posts are pretty reasonable,
but every once in a while you seem to have these little
seizures where you start spouting absolute nonsense,
usually at me.  (Barry's always in that state.)

Typically, when it's pointed out to you that you're
spouting nonsense, you stand on your head trying to
find some shred of rationality in what you said, and
you end up arguing about something that's only very
distantly related to what you were complaining about
in the first place, or even not related at all, as here.
I never said anything about excusing TMO manipulation;
you made that up.

I was making a simple and entirely reasonable,
noncontroversial point.  Adults in relatively civilized
societies are *constantly* being told by other adults
what they ought to be doing, and in turn are themselves
telling still other adults what *they* ought to be doing.
There are rules and regulations and recommendations in
virtually every area of life.

Most of us (control freaks like Barry excepted) just
accept this as the price of living in an organized
society.

Now, you can tell people what they ought to be doing
authoritatively, as in "Do this!" or you can tell
them politely, as in "It might be a good idea if you..."
or "Perhaps it would be best if..."

Usually people respond better when they're told 
politely, as if they have a choice, even when they
don't.

Except, apparently, in the case of the TMO.  As
far as some people are concerned, the TMO is
condescending and manipulative if it uses the polite
approach, and fascistic and tyrannical if it uses
the authoratative approach.  It's as if the
organization has no right to have any rules at all.

Of course the TMO is manipulative, and of course it
has some rules we don't like.  In some cases we have
to go along with the rules we don't like in order to
get something we want.  That's life.  The TMO has
never had a whole lot I want, so I've managed to
avoid being in a position where I had to go along
with its more onerous rules.

But none of that has anything to do with the point
I was making.  Your original challenge to that point
made no sense, so you tried to turn your argument
into something else entirely, against some point of
your own devising that I never made.

That you and Barry are agreeing about something 
should tell you that you went way off track.  His
take is even more of a straw man than yours, but at
least he has the excuse that he didn't bother to pay
any attention to the context of the discussion,
because all he wanted to do was create an opportunity
for a putdown.





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