--- In [email protected], Peter <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
>
>
> --- jyouells2000 [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
>
> snip
>
> > My experience is that the 'bound' self is built upon
> > the unwillingness
> > to be nothing, the fear of
> > that... Sort of a continuous looking away.
> >
> > JohnY
>
> Brilliant(IMHO)!! The continuous looking away is also
> a continuous looking for a subjective "feeling" of
> self that affirms (falsely) that "I exist." The mind
> does this every few seconds in waking state. It's a
> very subtle egoic habit. You can see this habit in CC
> because the mind turns to find something to affirm
> itself and nothing, literally, is found instead. There
> is no longer a felt-sense of "I" to affirm
> individuality. There is, again, literally, nothing
> there to find but pure consciousness and pure
> consciousness is something that the mind can not
> comprehend.
>

Around the age of 10 I started to have a lucid 'dream'
where I had the subjective sensation of the my head expanding
and expanding until all that was left was a tiny dot of bright light
about
to disapear in a boundless ocean of shimmering light/darkness.
Then I would wake up terrified and shaking and calling for mom...
maybe times a week for a couple of years.

Years later while sitting and listening   to sama veda floating on that
ocean the memories all came rolling back .

JohnY







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