--- In [email protected],
"tomandcindytraynoratfairfieldlis"
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> > TurquoiseB writes snipped:
> > It seems to me that being uncomfortable with oneself
> > spiritually seems to go hand-in-hand with the 
> > tendency to become a spiritual fascist. The more
> > "rules" one imposes on onesself, the more you feel
> > comfortable imposing on others. The less tolerant
> > you are of your own faults, the less tolerant you
> > are with others.
> > 
> > And vice-versa, of course, which is why I brought
> > up the subject...
> 
> Tom T:
> One of the things that has come out of the 12 step journey, 
> for me, is the understanding that most of the time whatever 
> the purported "other" accuse me of doing or having or whatever 
> the issue, is their own deepest, darkest, denied secret. Pay 
> attention, it becomes pretty evident if you notice. 

I've always found this to be true. And vice-versa.

I have a certain amusement for those who *don't* 
realize the vice-versa thang to be true, and that
they're projecting the things they don't like about
themselves onto others, because they're denying 
themselves a wonderful technique of self discovery. 

One of the things I started doing some years ago, 
and still do without fail every month, is to go back 
and reread every post I made to a spiritual group 
during the previous month in which I gave advice or 
complained about a perceived fault in someone else. 
Then I read those posts again carefully, this time
assuming that the person I was really talking to at
the time was myself (my self). I've learned a lot
from doing this, and highly recommend it.

Compare and contrast to the people who bristle and
get all defensive when someone suggests that they
are projecting the things they don't like about 
themselves onto others. That's their right, of 
course, but I think that in taking that stance
they're condemning themselves to a lifetime of
staying pretty much the same, and never learning
much from life.

> The other thing I have noticed is that part of the function 
> of this chat is to a be a 12 step for seekers program.
> The addicition to seeking can get broken here or become 
> more Self evident. Interesting way how it all works, isn't 
> it? YMMV Tom

I couldn't agree more. When I posted the rant at
the top of this thread to the other chat group,
the first reactions were subdued. But then the
people who are majorly *addicted* to seeking and
to being down on themselves started coming out
of the woodwork, and started yelling at me for
having missed the whole point. I found it pretty
fascinating -- these folks have been in the mindset
of believing that there is something essentially
WRONG with them for so long that they get angry
when someone suggests that there is nothing wrong
with them, and that they might make more progress
if they just relax and stop beating themselves up.

Bottom line is that I agree with you 100%. The real
function of discussion groups such as this one is
that they allow us to get over ourselves.  :-)



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