Turq, Nice post, Mr. T.
I'm going to pretend that I'm writing to you, but this is me looking into my mirror. I found myself resonant with your "protect my mind" concept -- and I think that expanding it a bit might be educational. How about we agree for it to mean: a resolve to not identify with negativity of any sort? (And later, maybe we can really slough off that hefty positivity addiction too.) To dump negativity is a big step onto a teflon floor covered with banana skins -- higher spiritual integrity -- gunna require some practice to stay upright. And did I mention that that's a SLANTED floor? I find little footing on the slippery slopes that the world's symbols commonly present to me. Show me the starving millions of Africa, and, though God isn't supposed to cry, I'm in a puddle of tears; challenge me with a thoughtless act by another driver on the road, and I'm in a puddle of piss-offedness. Dry, dry, damned puddles! I share these potent triggers with most readers here, but oh, I have so many ways to project -- if my printer ink cartridge runs dry, I'm yet again roiled that it's once again obvious that "those damned globalistic, printer manufactures are addicting us to ink." Something like that. Oh don't test me, I can yell for hours about a paper cut. I can get hands balled into fists so tight you'd think I was someone with, you know, an actual problem "out there," not an addiction to the chemical hit, the high of whole-cloth spun negativity "in here." I salute you for the intent, but man, I gotta tell ya, my "out there" really riles my "in here," and though I may be positioning myself as a victim here, we all know that that there "out there" is the victim of our this here "in here." Projection is Maya's master power. My personality is what the world MUST BE to me, and every gripe I have is merely me noting something else amiss in my clockworks. I'd love to shout, "Don't let the bastards get to ya, T," but that'd be like saying, "Hit one out of the park," and we all know that even Babe Ruth on today's steroids couldn't obey that command every time at bat. Iz gunna fail, uz gunna fail, awe God's chil'ren gots ta fail. So gives yer goodsef that wiggle room. Pissants are allowed to be pummeled -- gently, sweetly, truishly -- until one can slide off of such projecting without hardly noticing it, like falling asleep. They say that these negativity triggers are far better teachers than the successes we enjoy. Why? Maybe cuz, chowing down on a haunch of righteous anger is harder to give up than eating tidbits off of a sparse plate of novel cuisine success. I can retire from a successful career -- walk away satisfied -- give up identifying with a "role" in life even if I've been Mother Teresa, but on my death bed I'll be pissed once again about this bully in ninth grade who cold-cocked me in the face for my first taste of "whoopass souffle." Can't give up being "poor me." Whatever part of me that is holding onto that memory needs a great big hug, eh? The folks here who scour you are in actuality, I think you'll agree, the love of the universe sand-papering the varnish of ego off your soul. They absolutely cannot post anything that can touch you, but boy do they gots jackhammers for cracking the toughest ego shells. I applaud your intent to not be baited, but now for sure, you're going to be tested in a much more refined way, right? The "inside opponents" are much tougher, eh? As you eschew judging "the outsiders," you'll find that it is your own mind's patterns of insistence that will be your sparing partners. Their demands that "out there" must be made to be like "in here" that will be far more clearly the scoundrel in your face, not the world's rascals and their doings. John 12:8 For the poor always ye have with you; but me ye have not always. There will always be someone who cannot spiritually grasp you, someone who cannot resonate, someone whose fist enters "this space reserved for Turq's nose," someone who needs your love so badly that they pull your robe's hem for a Christ whack of infinity. No end to the supply of the pissants, but your soul is only here now. Attend, attend. Those that come to you poor can only go away rich if you let them take your ego's identifications with them. They yell at you only for what's inside them. Don't resist. Let them think they see it dripping off you. They will take that identification from you like thieves if you let them. If they call you a self serving braggart, (just taking an example out of my life,) I would suggest that you use a World War Two spotlight to find anything that validates their notions -- and, voila, the light alone will evaporate the offending personality pattern. This is straight Freudian therapy, doncha know. Yep, simple as that. Just admit that whatever's being pinned on ya is valid. Let them go away happy at your capitulation. Tell them you've found the offending part of your personality that, however slightly, was, indeed, resonant with their accusations. Believe me, if the universe is taking the time to pound a stake into your pride, there's always something attachment that its aiming at. But the little guy on my shoulder, the red one with the goat hooves, he just won't buy anything if it means he has no right to rant. He's the real enemy, right? There, now you're all set for purification. You're home free. Now hold a gun to my head and make me read the above 108 times. I think that when I assembled my Wisdom Widget out of the box, I left out a few parts, but I tell you it ain't my fault -- they didn't include the Rosetta Stone along with the instructions. Maybe you can figure out how to flick the bugger with the pitchfork off your shoulder like an autumn leaf, but I find myself wanting a shotgun for the job, but, yep, there's the 12 gauge shells in the pile of unused parts! Sigh. Rambling here. Who's still reading? Geeze. Edg -- In [email protected], TurquoiseB <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > --- In [email protected], "Marek Reavis" <reavismarek@> > wrote: > > > > I want to comment on this and don't really know how to, except > > to endorse your willingness to explore life with deep and > > wholehearted committment. I love that you were so totally > > into the movement; you and me and so many people who post here. > > If that is you not knowing how to express yourself, > I wait with 'bated breath for more posts in which > you are more sure. :-) Well said. That is one of my > main reasons for being here, too. I really *enjoy* > being "in the company" of people who have made a > strong commitment to a spiritual path, *wherever* > it might have taken them. I am equally comfortable > with those who have spent decades with the TMO and > who have moved on as I am with those who have spent > decades with it and now have mainly positive feelings > about their experiences, but approach the movement > from a distance, and I am equally comfortable with > those who still are committed to the TMO and manage > to pull that off without very much of the elitism > that one tends to see in those I deem TBs. > > What I am *not* as comfortable with is those who have > *never* made any strong commitment to the TMO or to > any other spiritual path, and who consistently try > to put down those who have walked away from one or > more spiritual paths as if doing so were some kind of > failure on their part. When the word "phony" comes up > here, as it tends to do more often than it should, > *those* are the people who leap to my mind. > > > Although my children, now adults, are so much better than me > > in so many ways, one thing they don't have in their lives is > > the experience so many of us had when we were young and > > young adults within the TM movement -- the unparalleled > > experience of being part of such a cause and such a > > movement, either as it actually was at the time or as > > we thought it to be. > > Well said again. I have very little contact these > days in "real life" with people who have had this > opportunity. That is one reason I find it so inter- > esting to hang with such people on the Internet. > There is something "about" those who have made a > strong, decades-long commitment not only to their > own spiritual path, but to *promoting* and *teaching* > that spiritual path that "removes the rough edges" > of the ego to some extent, and that cultivates a > sense of compassion and of caring for one's fellow > man. I often find that missing from those who have > never had the experience of putting someone else's > welfare ahead of their own (other than, say, their > own children and families). > > I worked pretty much full-time for spiritual movements > for 28 years of my life, devoting either part or all > of my time and income to furthering their goals, and > trying to help a few people along the Way. So, like > Curtis, do I sometimes get tired when people who have > *never* done this suggest that I'm a slimeball because > I no longer choose to do this accuse me of being a > "failure" or of "having missed the whole point of the > teaching?" You betcha. In my not so humble opinion, > such people "missed the whole point of the teaching" > THEMSELVES. THEY are the ones who never really > did much for anyone but themselves, at least in terms > of spreading and teaching meditation and other forms > of spirituality. > > Curtis has paid his dues, and has *earned* some fuckin' > RESPECT for having done that, man. So have all the other > wonderful people here who put their money where their > mouths were, spiritually, and made a strong commitment > to helping others. Those who have never done that but > who set themselves up as the arbiters of Things Spiritual > or of what constitutes a "proper" relationship with one's > spiritual teacher or spiritual organization can go suck > eggs as far as I'm concerned. When they start ragging > on those who *have* made such a commitment as if they > are better than they are, I consider them spiritual > pissants, legends in their own tiny minds who do *not* > have the right to insinuate themselves into the thoughts > that go through *my* mind on a regular basis. > > One of the things I've been doing lately is a kind of > mindfulness, a Buddhist exercise in maintaining focus. > Whenever one of these spiritual pissants -- on this > forum or on others -- tries to push his or her way into > my mind and make me focus on them, I try to do the > exact opposite. I hit the NEXT key the moment they get > nasty and read no further in that post. I try to never > again think of that person that day. And I have a kind > of "rule" that I've made for myself that says that I > will not reply to anyone who has gone out of their way > to trash me here for at least a week after they have > done so. > > Fortunately, given the way that things seem to work > here, that means that there are at least a couple of > people here who I *never* will have to reply to again, > because they seem to be UNABLE to go a full week without > making some comment here trashing me. :-) It cuts down > on my posting needs at FFL tremendously. > > > The posts here that express compassion and understanding, > > forbearance and intelligence, as well as humor and flexibility > > are the ones that, in my mind, most fully advance the ideals > > of the movement to which we all pledged allegiance when we > > were young. > > Exactly. > > > If the TMO has apparently diverged from those ideals, it is > > not my problem. > > Exactly again. Even if the TM movement doesn't seem > to be terribly concerned with integrity and compassion, > that doesn't mean that its "graduates" have to live > that way. > > > There are many people who post here, including yourself, whom > > I admire greatly. Thanks. > > Same with me. These people give me *hope* with regard to > the value of "doing one's time" in a strong spiritual > commitment. Fortunately, there are enough of these great > people here that they counterbalance the example of those > spiritual pissants who make me *question* the value of > such a commitment. > > All the time I spent in the TM movement was "worth it" > in my opinion. All of the time I spent with Rama was > "worth it" in my opinion. The time it takes to deal with > the spiritual pissants of the world is no longer "worth > it" to me, so they're not going to get any more of that > time in the form of replies from me. > > Thanks again to Curtis and Marek for exemplifying what > makes FFL a great forum, and pointing out via their > examples what *detracts* from that great forum in the > behavior of a few (and these days, *very* few) other > people. > > The "New FFL." Long may it wave... >
