--- In [email protected], "Rory Goff" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Yes, I first noticed the blind-spot phenomenon when I was attempting > to point out the self-evident and was watching the apparently willful > (but actually unconscious) machinations of the personality in > maintaining ignorance, but I am not particularly basing my current > observation that you (and we all) have blind spots on my > understanding of the self. > > I am basing it on the fact that --to borrow a nice term from Barry - - > where blind spots are involved, there is no *equanimity*; one is > coming from a place of ungrounded attack. What the critic tends to > miss IMO is that Judy and I are generally *not* defending MMY and the > TMO; we're just pointing out *that the critic is attacking in an > unbalanced manner*. Again, you, Curtis, have noted that you cut slack > for Thai beliefs -- that is, you have equanimity there, more than you > do for TM beliefs. That's certainly understandable; you used to > identify with TM beliefs; there's a residue there. > > Personally, I've noticed that much if not all of my suffering -- my > reactive residue -- has come from places where I falsely assumed > responsibility for something, identified with something that was > actually not my business. I used to actually feel pain, for example, > when driving through my neighborhood and seeing a downright ugly > house. How could the architect be so stupid as to design such a God- > awful monstrosity, and the home-owner so blind as to choose it, etc., > etc.? I finally realized *I am not responsible for the classically > aesthetic perfection of my neighborhood* -- it is what it is, period. > Same for BushCo and so on. What a relief! > > I'd write more, but my wife really wants to go out for brunch *now* > so.. to be continued! :-) (OK, that was quite a meal -- if anyone should decide to visit Portland, Maine, I'd recommend Bintliff's for brunch! All their meals are works of art, and their raspberry almond pancakes with maple syrup are quite a treat! :-) )
Anyhow, after I gave up wishing the neighborhood architecture were different, I became free to appreciate it as it is, and lately I've seen the creator's intent, the perfect Love, that actually resides even in an "ugly" house. Now I am still undertaking projects to beautify the architecture of my hometown, but I'm not coming from a place of anger and suffering, of denial of the perfection of what is. It IS perfect, and I'm happy to do my small part to expand the perfection still more :-) And I found the same for my fulminations about MMY and the TMO -- in the end, all the dramas and "foolishness" therein that I was getting so riled up about *was not my business*. I simply had reactive residues, areas in the TMO which I still subtly identified with and thus took as a personal insult when yet another "crazy" mandate was handed down and swallowed whole -- I *had* to put them down, as these were the only two choices I saw: blind acceptance or righteous rejection. I completely missed the third choice -- unattached equanimity: it's just another odd custom that has nothing to do with me. When I let go of my illusory responsibility to *change* all this, and accepted my non-judgemental responsibility in *upholding* what is as Yet Another Fun Drama, everything changed. Letting go of reactive identification and judgment, I found the dynamic stillness of Love; in Love I found the innocent, radiant, primordial Self behind all the dramas. So with this simple innocence everywhere, there truly is nothing to defend. And yet I find that I *do* at times still react angrily, righteously and/or defensively, and when I do, with a little inquiry I generally find I am still defending some old and unre-examined subtitles I have taken for Gospel, some hitherto unconscious blind- spot. Another way I've been able to tell I am approaching a blind-spot is if I suddenly get very stupid; that is, my wife has had to explain something over and over about six different ways for me to get it, if I ever get it. I also have very slick and glib defense mechanisms, so her job is not an easy one, although I am trying to become more quickly aware of these slick-patches and thus to help her help me. Along these same lines, I will say right here that I do *not* have the particular gifts -- the clarity, maturity, single-minded compassion and patience -- that Judy has manifested over the years in trying to show the critics their blind-spots and in the process putting up with their complete incomprehension and practically ceaseless abuse; she is far more of a Bodhisattva than I will ever be. (This too is perfect!) :-)
