--- In [email protected], new.morning <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> 
wrote:
>
> --- In [email protected], Bronte Baxter
> <brontebaxter8@> wrote:
> >
> > 
> >      
> >   I speak as someone new to FFL who mostly lurks. I sometimes feel
> to share in a discussion but know that if I do, someone's sure to
> throw shit at me, and it just isn't worth it. I think a lot of women
> feel that way. It's why few women participate in this forum. 
> 
> 
> Bronte,
> 
> I can't think of any examples in five years or more on this forum, 
of
> situations where people who post insightful posts, and who do not 
slam
> others or engage in pettiness, that have ever had abusive posts 
thrown
> back at them. 
> 
> On the other hand, people who intentionally try to push 
> others' buttons, engage in strong criticism of others, try to
> articulate the others' inner motives, hangups, and personality
> disorders, are simply asking for the same in kind. And they get it,
> usually as much or more than they give.
> 
> If you are genuine, considerate, not critical of others (stating
> differences of opinion and analyzing others ideas are fine), and 
don't
> post to incite, then it would be quite rare or ever that you would
> have a disagreeable post tossed directly at you. 
> 
> Let me give you an example. Marek, usually if not always, 
exemplifies
> the positive qualities above. I cannot think of any disagreeable 
post
> that Marek has ever received.  
> 
> But as a hypothetical, lets imagine your posts also exemplified
> the positive qualities above, and never the negative ones, and 
> someone posted something unwarranted, not so nice, about you.
> That is simple their POV or their frustration. Why get upset, or 
> take personally, a confused frustrated person's POV? If the shoe 
> doesn't fit, don't wear it. Move on.

Plus which, if a person is unable to address your
points on the merits, and substitutes a personal
attack, realize that it says far more about them
than it does about you. Actually, it speaks well
for your argument that they aren't able to come up
with a reasoned response to it.


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