Re: grayson

[Nina]

Oh my, Tonya. catatonya wrote: Grayson has a strong mew.  He's learning to suckle fairly well.  Much better than the tabby kitten who died.  He's pooping an orange color.  I assume it's the formula.  It's not diarrhea, but it's like small pieces of rice.  He's eating every 2-3 hours.  And he cries every time I put him down. lol.  No, we didn't get much sleep. I was a bit afraid to open your email.  I'm really pulling for this little tike.  Orange, esp if that's the color of the formula, doesn't seem too scary a color and it's fantastic that he's eliminating and it isn't watery.  Gray is the color to be concerned about, also if it smells putrid, that could indicate Coccidia or Giardia.  Sweet little angel, I can just hear those cries when you put him down.  Do you have a furry stuffed animal with him to cling to?  I guess it's my turn to tell my troubles.  They're nothing like what everyone else is going through, but I'm just very depressed.  I just cannot handle rescue.  I thought I'd try again by just leafletting about the dogs, and here I am with a kitten I don't know what to do with.  I can't afford the money and don't have the time to care for my own crew.  I just broke up with my boyfriend because he doesn't care for my lack of time........ and I'm on vacation. You're troubles will do!  I understand your depression.  I think everyone on this list should get together for a group discount on meds to combat it.  I understand completely about "trying" to back away from rescue.  I never volunteer anymore, (unless someone tracks me down specifically), I try never to look both ways when I leave the house, but still the needy find me.  I just did a consolidation loan to help me with my credit card debt, (the vast majority of it from helping rescues), and the darn things are climbing at an alarming rate again.  The boyfriend... well what can I say, he must not have been the right one for you.  You'll find someone that will not have a problem with your lack of time because he'll spend his time with you helping others.  You would have missed him when he shows up, being with someone that can't make compensations because of your commitment to those in need.  And isn't it fortunate for little Grayson, that you're on vacation?!  I agreed to TRANSPORT some cats to a vet for a spay neuter for a group and now they expect me to be responsible for getting the certificates, making the appointments, etc..... for about 15 cats and kittens!  And they want ME to do bios and pics of them all to post to find homes for.  AND the guy just called a few minutes ago and said they now have a NEW LITTER! I understand why the s/n group is leaning on you for more than you were prepared to give.  Everyone is overwhelmed and when they find someone that they think they can lean on, they do.  Since you agreed to do the transport, tell them you'll do that, but you can't be responsible for anything else.  If you can't do the transport, tell them why and don't.  Somehow, it will get done.  Tell them if you take on anymore at this time you're likely to lose your mind and that you won't be able to help anyone with a straight jacket on.  Animal Control won't go in and get Grayson's mother and the rest of his litter from the abandoned house, and the people I took him from haven't called me back AFTER I spent 2 days last week leafleting THEIR neighborhood about THEIR dogs who should have been in a fence to begin with.  Then I take the two kittens from them and now I don't get a call back from them to help get the others out of the abandoned house. The amount of apathy and lack of concern, heck, the lack of simple manners of most people never fails to astound me!  Don't give the humans in this situation another thought, they'll have to be on their own.  You've done all you can for them, and more than you probably should have.  We are all aware of that line that needs to be drawn when it comes to the number of animals we are able to physically help ourselves.  If you can, do your best to help Grayson's Momma and her remaining kittens, if all you can do is send her love and prayers, then do that.  Tonya, there are so very many animals in need, so many human animals in need too.  We can only do what we can do.  You are already feeling overburdened with what you have on your plate.  Be grateful that Grayson has a chance, that he somehow miraculously slipped under the wire and has found himself in your capable hands.  Trust in Spirit, the Universe, God, whatever you personally label the "Source of all that is" to take care of that which you cannot. Then I find a dead turtle on the road when I went to get the mail. I hate that.  It's always upsetting to me too.  I used to think of it as a bad omen, I don't anymore.  It's just another reminder that we are all here on a limited visa, everything dies, it was just that turtle's time.  Not witnessing death doesn't change it's inevitability.  It just is.  I haven't sold my old house since I moved here this time last year, and every week it seems like something goes wrong there that costs me more money. Life just sucks sometimes. It surely does.  Nuzzle little Gray and your other wards to remind yourself what a blessing life can be too.  I know I tell everyone to euthanize these tiny kittens, and I knew I should, but I just couldn't.  We had already left the neighborhood and finished leafletting, but something made me go back to the people's house who owned the dog who were NOT helping to leaflet to talk to them.  I don't know why I went back, but I guess it's for a reason, and I just couldn't euthanize the kittens. It's the miracle of intervention that you listened to that "something" that made you go back.  It's happened to me so many times, I don't even question it anymore.  Most of the time, when it seems extraordinary like this, when so many "coincidences" lead us on a path to help, it turns out to be a happy ending.  Oh how I pray that happy ending includes Grayson's thriving.  My first reaction is to hope you find a way to keep him in your care, but even if you don't, it will just mean that your part in this was meant to be a facilitator to lead him to the life he was meant to have, long or short.  And I hate to say this, but I wrapped up the baby kitten who died and just put him in the trash can.  One can only do so much, but I'm feeling pretty miserable right now. Please don't burden yourself over the way in which you placed the little one's body to rest.  I know you know, that the kitten that was, has no attachment to the body he inhabited.  It's just matter, the living are what we need to concentrate our limited resources on.  I will send pics of Grayson when I can.  I sent out a plea and am hoping someone will take him into their foster program.  It's not really fair for me to keep him. Put out your pleas, if it's meant to be that he stays with you, he will and you will do the best you can to provide him with the care he needs.  If someone else comes to his aid, then you can rest easy that you helped him on his path in that way.  Grayson and I need all the prayers we can get right now. That, you've got my dear, that you've got. Much love, Nina