Sleep soft, dear Grayson and your tiny tabby brother too.
On Tue, 18 Jul 2006, catatonya wrote: > Date: Tue, 18 Jul 2006 08:27:15 -0700 (PDT) > From: catatonya <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Reply-To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org > To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org > Subject: RE: I killed Grayson > > It just is. When I woke up and he wasn't at my neck I turned on the light to > find him down beside me. I just moved him back up to his place since he > seemed to be sleeping. I was groggy and tired and just didn't even think to > check to see that he was alright. I might could have done something at that > point. I don't know. > > I'm going to bury Grayson and the tiny tabby together this afternoon and > plant an azalea for them. > > t > > Chris <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > PLEASE don?t think that!!! Its just not true!! Of course > you were worried about bringing in another cat?all of us would have ?wished? > we didn?t have the problem. > > I have a feeling you hit it on the head in your very first e-mail?Mom cats > somehow sense which kitties might not make it and sort of push them > away?that?s just the way Nature works. > > Tonya?I know people who care for newborn kitties and the mortality rate is > phenomally high?most just don?t make it when they?re that young! Its an > exhausting frustrating and oftentimes disappointing job! You?re tired and > angry and feel bad that they both died. That?s OK but its absolutely not > your fault! > > Chris > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > -----Original Message----- > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of catatonya > Sent: Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:00 AM > To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org > Subject: Re: I killed Grayson > > Thanks Nina, but I killed him. I know I did. And I know it's because I > was so worried about bringing in another cat and 'wished' I didn't have that > problem. So now I don't. I just feel horrible. > > > > t > > Nina <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > Oh Honey, don't say that. You didn't kill Grayson. You didn't wake up > on top of him, you woke up with him lower on your body and you moved him > back up. There's no way you could possibly know he stopped breathing > because you suffocated him, or because he simply stopped breathing. > Even if you had inadvertently smothered him, you still didn't kill that > baby. The state of the world is what killed that baby. You, my dear, > saved him. I'm very sorry that he's gone, I can just imagine your shock > and grief. I guess I should have been talking about how likely this > outcome could be, but I wanted to think positively about his chances, > and let's face it, no matter how prepared we are, we're never prepared > enough. Please don't play the what if game with this. What if you had > left him in the bathroom, covered with towels and a heating pad? What > if he'd died alone in the bathroom and hadn't gotten the opportunity to > see what it was liked to be cuddled and loved? You'd be kicking > yourself harder than you are right now. No, you did everything right. > >From the moment you went back into that house, to when you took him to > bed with you. No matter how sad I am about Grayson leaving us, I won't > accept anything else. He was a little fighter with a heart big enough > to cause people around the country to fall in love with him. The little > guy has my undying love and all the tears he deserves, and so do you, > N. > > catatonya wrote: > > > I just woke and Grayson was dead. I think I smothered him. I think > > 2:30 was the last time he woke me up to be fed. I had him up by my > > neck but remember finding him sleeping down next to me at one point > > and moving him back up. I guess it didn't cross my mind at the time > > that he should have been screaming for food at that point. I just > > moved him back up higher on the bed and covered him in his little > > towel and fell back asleep. When I woke again I wondered why he > > hadn't cried yet or moved over to my neck. He was dead because I had > > killed him. > > > > tonya > > > > > > > > > > > >
