Tonya..I am so sorry for Grayson's passing ---- I just wanted to tell you I know exactly how you feel... as far as I am concerned most of the kitties who passed away under my care.. they died because of me.. I killed them.. not necessary directly (and of course, and not intentionally) all the time.. but I feel that I am responsible.. I know that it's not a good place for us to be.. but I can't help thinking that way..
What helps me to think though it that there is a life after their passing.. so Grayson's soul continues to live.. he is just out of the body he was in previously... almost 100% kitties that my AC talked to after them passing.. they are so much happier and feeling better that they are out of their body.. because they feel so much freedom and energized.. I know that it's hard for us not to be able to hold them..but they are free..and feeling no pain.. Hideyo -----Original Message----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Nina Sent: Tuesday, July 18, 2006 4:18 AM To: [email protected] Subject: Re: I killed Grayson Oh Honey, don't say that. You didn't kill Grayson. You didn't wake up on top of him, you woke up with him lower on your body and you moved him back up. There's no way you could possibly know he stopped breathing because you suffocated him, or because he simply stopped breathing. Even if you had inadvertently smothered him, you still didn't kill that baby. The state of the world is what killed that baby. You, my dear, saved him. I'm very sorry that he's gone, I can just imagine your shock and grief. I guess I should have been talking about how likely this outcome could be, but I wanted to think positively about his chances, and let's face it, no matter how prepared we are, we're never prepared enough. Please don't play the what if game with this. What if you had left him in the bathroom, covered with towels and a heating pad? What if he'd died alone in the bathroom and hadn't gotten the opportunity to see what it was liked to be cuddled and loved? You'd be kicking yourself harder than you are right now. No, you did everything right. From the moment you went back into that house, to when you took him to bed with you. No matter how sad I am about Grayson leaving us, I won't accept anything else. He was a little fighter with a heart big enough to cause people around the country to fall in love with him. The little guy has my undying love and all the tears he deserves, and so do you, N. catatonya wrote: > I just woke and Grayson was dead. I think I smothered him. I think > 2:30 was the last time he woke me up to be fed. I had him up by my > neck but remember finding him sleeping down next to me at one point > and moving him back up. I guess it didn't cross my mind at the time > that he should have been screaming for food at that point. I just > moved him back up higher on the bed and covered him in his little > towel and fell back asleep. When I woke again I wondered why he > hadn't cried yet or moved over to my neck. He was dead because I had > killed him. > > tonya > > >
