Re: I killed Grayson

[Kerry MacKenzie]

Tonya dearest, someone else said it already I think, but from everything I know about you from our beloved list, the only thing you personally could ever smother a cat with is pure unadulterated love. I could imagine many of us including myself reacting in grief the way you are doing---totally beating yourself up--but it's simply not justified. You are the best friend a little soul like Grayson could ever have. You are the best. I'm glad Grayson found you, and knew what it was to be loved in his short life, and I wish there were more like you in this world. much love and big hugs to you, dear Tonya. Kerry.  ----- Original Message ----- From: catatonya To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org Sent: Tuesday, July 18, 2006 4:58 AM Subject: I killed Grayson I just woke and Grayson was dead.  I think I smothered him.  I think 2:30 was the last time he woke me up to be fed.  I had him up by my neck but remember finding him sleeping down next to me at one point and moving him back up.  I guess it didn't cross my mind at the time that he should have been screaming for food at that point.  I just moved him back up higher on the bed and covered him in his little towel and fell back asleep.  When I woke again I wondered why he hadn't cried yet or moved over to my neck.  He was dead because I had killed him.   tonya