Dearest Michelle,
As I wrote before, I just went through this same push/pull anxiety with
Spencer. It's enough to give you a nervous breakdown. I'm feeling your
pain right through the computer. I know Lucy is in bad shape, but it
does sound like she's at least comfortable for the most part. When you
talk about worsening symptoms, are you referring to her not eating?
Today is the first time she hasn't eaten on her own, is that right?
Stress will put her off her food, perhaps she's just regaining her
strength. The thought of her enjoying a sun bath is encouraging. She
may be strong enough to wait for the experts to decide a treatment
protocol.
I wish I had the answers for you Michelle. I'm afraid that no matter
how much support we have from others, it always comes down to our call
when dealing with so this sort of quandary. All I can tell you is that
after I calmed my spirit and communed with Spencer, (my last experience
with what you are going through), I felt a little more at peace with the
circumstances. Unfortunately, Spencer did not have a long time left to
share with me. I never gave up hope, but I did find a semblance of
acceptance and peace. The benefit was that the time we did share was
full of unconditional love, and I don't know how else to put it, full of
quality. It didn't keep him with me in the physical, but it allowed us
to bond in an extraordinary way. It was an incredible gift that we
shared, at a very costly price. I'll always be grateful to him for the
lessons learned during that heartrending time.
I have no idea what I would do in your place. Missing the pieces of the
puzzle make it so very difficult to make these sorts of decisions with
conviction. I would never take the advice of anyone over what my own
gut was telling me though. The specialists may be well meaning, they
may even be sympathetic, but to them Lucy is a medical case, to you she
is your heart. The way I see it is we are responsible for interpreting
the wishes of our fur children and making sure that our decisions are
based on love and not fear. You are the one that has to live with the
consequences, no matter what those consequences may be. Clear your
head. Sit quietly with her, your next move will come to you.
All my love,
Nina
[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
Red Bank called to say that now I do not have a return appointment for
tomorrow, that the cytology reports won't be back until tomorrow, and
that I will get a call tomorrow morning after the oncologist and
internist look at the reports, with a plan. Meanwhile, this morning
Lucy is not eating at all. I syringed her a little food, but am
concerned at the worsening of symptoms. Her back end seems ok now, but
she is drinking more. her fever went down last night with fluids and
ice packs, but she is warm again-- but can't tell if this is because
she is lying in the sun (her choice). She can walk to litter box and
jump up on 1 foot tall cardboard box without problems. Her pads and
gums are still a little pink, though light pink.
Thanks to Hideyo, I now have feline interferon and epogen. The
oncologist is insisting that I not start her on anything until they
look at all the test results. If she has an infection or heart
disease, steroids could be harmful. If her blood cells are
regenerating but then dying, epogen won't help and she could have a
reaction. I have not heard back on any particular reason not to start
the feline interferon.
Do you think I should start her on something, against the advice of
the oncologist and internist? I generally trust specialists, but it
seems clear she is going down hill and days are passing. Plus, a
friend's dog had neurological problems and saw specialists at a big
hospital in Boston for a week before they tested for lyme disease
(which I had suggested immediately)-- they had had him on steroids,
then when finally saw he had lyme put him on heavy doses of
antibiotics and stopped the steroids, and when he got worse they put
him back on heavy doses of both and he pulled through. Obviously it
would have been better if a) they had tested him immediately (they had
not thought the neuro symptoms matched lyme) and b) absent the test if
they had just loaded him up with both abx and steroids. So I am wary
of specialists waiting for test results that take a while before
starting treatment when an animal is going downhill. At the same
time, I don't want to harm any possible treatment she could ultimately
get if they figure something out.
Do any of you have strong opinions or thoughts on this?
Thanks,
Michelle
