Giselle, yes-when we love them so deeply, the loss is inconsolable...for a long 
time.  It's been more than a year since I lost my Baby Ruben, and I still mourn 
him...but now that grief is tempered with memories of him as a teenie baby 
doing all sorts of silly things...and I can smile.  I hope and pray your heart 
continues to heal and that one day you will smile again.

Debbie (COL)
"The time is always right to do what is right" -  Martin Luther King

> From:
> To:
> Date: Thu, 28 May 2009 21:39:29 +0000
> Subject: [Felvtalk] Life without Pixie
> Hi everyone. 
> I really, really appreciate
> the support and wisdom this group has provided over the last 3 years
> -- when strange things were happening (frothy clear vomit, a non-dilating 
> pupil) and I didn't know what to do, and especially during the scary and sad 
> days surrounding Pixie's death. This listserv is an example of the internet 
> at its finest, bringing together a
> warm virtual community of FeLV cat guardians from across the globe. You gave 
> me the courage to adopt FeLV+ Pixie in the first place, when I was only a 
> foster parent to her and had no previous experience with + cats.
> It's been two weeks without Pixie. Grief feels like a private hell but
> apparently I'm going through all the normal stages. I was in bad shape when I 
> went to pick up her ashes and the woman at the crematorium asked if Pixie had 
> lived a long life. I could
> barely reply that she was still a baby when this disease snatched her.
> But once I got her urn home and put it on the mantle, which was one
> of her favorite places to perch, I felt strangely relieved: the awful
> business of deterioration, dying and death was over. I
> attached her collar tag to my keys (the jingling sound of which
> made Pixie come running from any corner of the house in the hope she'd
> get to go outside). I miss her 100 times day. 
> I'm comforted to know that many of you have survived the loss of a beloved 
> cat and have eventually come to love new cats.
> Onwards and upwards,
> Giselle
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