On Sep 4, 2007, at 11:36 AM, skychan wrote:
> I agree with a few things, the elder gods should not be on our mailing
> list. The original rather than dub names are preferable, but
> hardly I think
> a reason to fail a fic on their own. And finally when did this
> become a
> negativity based list?
Welcome to the Eternal Lost Lurker method of C&C:
One, If it sounds like a dub, IT'S CRAP!
And two, Lurker is always right.
Heh. I kid because I care.
>
> My thoughts on the story are that it does have an interesting
> premise. I
> think that it is a little bit weak in the plot supporting it at the
> moment.
> First I doubt you should have all five lose the fight, it makes it
> very
> dificult to justify their winning anything later and having just
> Lita and
> Ami present would fulfill the plot need. I remember this story
> from before
> I am glad to see more of it coming out but you should I think go
> back over
> it and consider what needs to be there and what doesnt to fill the
> plot.
> More introspection from the charachters would be good as well as
> fleshing
> out Lita's "plot" to discover the truth. For example, theres no
> reason she
> had to sneak into the building if shes a known visitor, and a more
> natural
> reaction from someone of a scientific bent like Ami's would be to
> deride the
> book rather than just sit there stonefaced and Lita should be able
> to figure
> that out.
Oooh. Good points. I'm tempted now to scrap both chapters and start
over, rather than a rewrite.
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