Hi Draconis,

Interesting that you're using this internet thingy to activate your
most recent attempt at world domination. I have of course heard of it,
though my initial experience of actually using it ended in 3 weeks of
those wretched screaming goat videos on repeat before there was a
capture, capcher, capchur, kapture, whatever!

I assume your system works by connecting my clockwork computer to your
Skynet 2.0 server room of doom, so as to exchange some form of
electronic handshake. Whilst that does leave some choice in the hands
of the user such as how hard they'd like to pedal their computer or
whether they actually want to buy the game in the first place, I
believe that this system may have wider implications, such as the
devaluation of a human handshake shared between two living people who
are alive.

I'd like to propose a system whereby you find a way to visit the house
of each person who purchases one of your games, at their convenience,
install it for them, and naturally complete the registration with the
aforementioned handshake. To be clear, I am aware that this may not be
possible with your current 5000 strong workforce who I understand are
kept on the brink of starvation in order for you to wear clothes
manufactured entirely out of 3 dollar bills, but there is! a solution.
My suggestion is that you put some man hours into the advancement of
robotics and time travel, with the eventual goal that cheaper titles
could be activated by robots. From my knowledge of these fields which
has been acquired by extensive reading of the fantasy genre (no
really, so many, many many, many, many many many many, many books),
I'd estimate that about 42 hours would be required for you to have a
few test robots hobbling about and offering something akin to the
warm, firm handshake I so crave. Perhaps 42 hours and a couple of
working lunches in the restaurant at the end of the universe, but I
think you'll find that this is! achievable if you want it as much as
we do. Of course, we the community will do our bit by constantly
hounding you for updates on your progress, comparing you to Bavisoft
if you so much as dare to take a stroll to the water cooler, and
griping that we don't like the voice of our robotic registration rep,
or that his (or indeed her) hands don't quite offer the same level of
reassurance as the working mans would.

As an aside, there could be added benefits. Imagine a system where you
could pay 3 extra gold coins and have your robot pick up a pizza for
you on the way. Hawaiian pizza and something akin to human contact
both happening at the same time? I'm all of a flutter!

Beware the ground, and everything under or upon it)

Mark

PS. the above was bought to you by a lack of sleep, which was in its
turn caused by too many fizzy drinks. Every letter of every word is
intended to be satirical, I am quite literally joshing with Josh...
see what I did there? I know, the fun never ends people... kinda like
this thread.


On 5/2/13, Draconis <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> Sounds more vindictive to me, under the guise of trying to be funny.
> Certainly is creative, although I can think of more productive ways to
> direct creativity.
>
> For the record, Dark, our new registration system is almost entirely
> transparent to end users. The only additional requirement is an Internet
> connection. Not that facts seem to trouble you all that much in general.
>
> Ian…thanks for the support.

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