Hi Lori,
I didn't notice the buzz after you started the game.
In your demonstration, I think it's better to say I rather than you. You say I in most places but not in this section,

This passage has alcoves that are open off to the left and right.
Sometimes there's monsters hiding here.
They like nothing better than than to leap out on you.
This time we're fine.
There's a border just before you hit a wall.

If you said it in first person it would be,
This passage has alcoves that are open off to the left and right.
Sometimes I find monsters hiding here.
They like nothing better than than to leap out on me.
This time I'm fine.
There's a border just before I hit a wall.


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