Thanks for the Review Francis, Authors, can you please prepare an update that takes these nits into consideration. But don't submitted until the IETF last call ends.
Cheers Magnus Francis Dupont skrev: > I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) > reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see > http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html). > > Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments > you may receive. > > Document: draft-ietf-tsvwg-admitted-realtime-dscp-05.txt > Reviewer: Francis Dupont > Review Date: 2008-11-19 > IETF LC End Date: 2008-11-27 > IESG Telechat date: unknown > > Summary: Ready > > Comments: I have minor editorial (== to be handled by default by the RFC > Editor) concerns and proposals (ending by '?'): > - ToC page 2: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments > - 1 page 3: I suggest to introduce the EF (Expedited Forwarding) abbrev > as soon as possible, i.e.: Expedited Forwarding -> Expedited Forwarding (EF) > - 1 page 3: the CAC (Call Admission Control) abbrev must be introduced, > i.e.: CAC -> Call Admission Control (CAC) > - 1 page 3: I don't like "aka" (use "i.e.," in place of it, or no abbrev?) > - 1 page 3: I'd like to get a reference for "e-911" > - 1 page 3: e.g. -> e.g., > - 1 page 3: the policy ... need -> the policy ... needs ? > - 1 page 4: i.e. -> i.e., > - 1.1 page 4 (PHB): introduce the DS (Differentiated Services) abbrev here? > - 1.1 page 4: the not-introduced PSTN abbrev is questionable. IMHO you > should keep it (common abbrev and not necessary for understanding). > - 2.1 page 8: more questionable for SLA abbrev. > - 2.1 page 8: conaining -> containing > - 2.1 page 8: MBPS is *not* an acceptable unit (I propose Mbits/s) > - 2.2 page 9: reployed -> deployed > - 2.2 page 10: eg., -> e.g., > - 2.3 page 10: AAA abbrev: questionable but IMHO should be kept. > - 3 page 11: Video classes -> Video classes: ? > - 6 page 12 (title): Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments > - 6 page 12 (last character): , -> . > > Regards > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] -- Magnus Westerlund IETF Transport Area Director & TSVWG Chair ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Multimedia Technologies, Ericsson Research EAB/TVM ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Ericsson AB | Phone +46 10 7148287 Färögatan 6 | Mobile +46 73 0949079 SE-164 80 Stockholm, Sweden| mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
