sure. I'll also pick up Briscoe's nits. Are you aware of any other
comments?
On Nov 20, 2008, at 4:33 PM, Magnus Westerlund wrote:
Thanks for the Review Francis,
Authors, can you please prepare an update that takes these nits into
consideration. But don't submitted until the IETF last call ends.
Cheers
Magnus
Francis Dupont skrev:
I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).
Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.
Document: draft-ietf-tsvwg-admitted-realtime-dscp-05.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 2008-11-19
IETF LC End Date: 2008-11-27
IESG Telechat date: unknown
Summary: Ready
Comments: I have minor editorial (== to be handled by default by
the RFC
Editor) concerns and proposals (ending by '?'):
- ToC page 2: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments
- 1 page 3: I suggest to introduce the EF (Expedited Forwarding)
abbrev
as soon as possible, i.e.: Expedited Forwarding -> Expedited
Forwarding (EF)
- 1 page 3: the CAC (Call Admission Control) abbrev must be
introduced,
i.e.: CAC -> Call Admission Control (CAC)
- 1 page 3: I don't like "aka" (use "i.e.," in place of it, or no
abbrev?)
- 1 page 3: I'd like to get a reference for "e-911"
- 1 page 3: e.g. -> e.g.,
- 1 page 3: the policy ... need -> the policy ... needs ?
- 1 page 4: i.e. -> i.e.,
- 1.1 page 4 (PHB): introduce the DS (Differentiated Services)
abbrev here?
- 1.1 page 4: the not-introduced PSTN abbrev is questionable. IMHO
you
should keep it (common abbrev and not necessary for understanding).
- 2.1 page 8: more questionable for SLA abbrev.
- 2.1 page 8: conaining -> containing
- 2.1 page 8: MBPS is *not* an acceptable unit (I propose Mbits/s)
- 2.2 page 9: reployed -> deployed
- 2.2 page 10: eg., -> e.g.,
- 2.3 page 10: AAA abbrev: questionable but IMHO should be kept.
- 3 page 11: Video classes -> Video classes: ?
- 6 page 12 (title): Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments
- 6 page 12 (last character): , -> .
Regards
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
--
Magnus Westerlund
IETF Transport Area Director & TSVWG Chair
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