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Please resolve these comments along with any other comments you may receive.
Document: draft-ietf-opsawg-management-stds-05.txt
Reviewer: Miguel Garcia <[email protected]>
Review Date: 2012-06-03
IETF LC End Date: 2012-03-08
IESG Telechat date: 2012-03-15
Summary: The document is ready for publication as an Informational RFC
Major issues: none
Minor issues: none
Nits/editorial comments:
The document fills the gap of providing an overview of the IETF
management standards. I believe this type of documents is highly needed,
so a big thanks to the authors and contributors for spending quite some
time in putting this draft.
Here are some minor improvements:
- In section 1.3, I would add informative references to "Relax NG",
"URI", "XPath", SMIv2, XSD, and YANG.
- In section 2.2, 4th paragraph, I wouldd add informative references to
ITU-T X.733 and IETF Alarm MIB.
- Section 3.5, 4th paragraph, add references to "IPsec tunnels",
"TLS-based security solutions"
- Expand acronyms at first usage. This includes:
- RMON (Section 2.3)
- YANG, XSD (Section 1.3)
- Section 3.3.2 describes COPS-PR, I would have expected to first
describe COPS, and then COPS-PR as a variation of it. But there is no
description of COPS, so I would like you to consider first adding a
description of COPS.
- Section 3.6 (page 31). The text merely names the names of the different
Diameter applications. I would expect to see a one-paragraph description
of what application does. As a comparison, this is what the rest of the
document does when describing extensions or applications of a protocol.
So, I would ask you to take a look at the abstract of each RFC and write
it in there.
- Section 3.10 describes XCAP. I am missing some text to guide the reader
a bit further. I would describe that XCAP has been designed and is
commonly used in SIP environments, in particular SIP for Instant
Messages, Presence, and Conferences. I am also missing some text
indicating that XCAP by itself is a kind of framework, but the real
functionality is provided by "XCAP Application Usages", where there are
big number of these applications. Having said that, I would expect the
document to list the IETF-produced XCAP application usages together with
a one-paragraph description. FYI, you can take a look at this list of
XCAP application usages in the SIMPLE WG document list:
http://datatracker.ietf.org/wg/simple/
- Section 4.1.3, 2nd paragraph, describes what IPPM is all about. I think
this is not the correct place to have such description, because IPPM has
been already described in Section 3.4. So, I would replace the second
paragraph except the first sentence with a reference to Section 3.4.
- Section 4.1.6, 2nd and 3rd paragraphs, I would add references to
Sections 2.3 (IPFIX) and 2.2 (SYSLOG), respectively.
- Section 4.2.1, penultimate paragraph, add an informative reference to
the "core system and interface models in YANG".
BR,
Miguel
--
Miguel A. Garcia
+34-91-339-3608
Ericsson Spain
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