On Wed, Jul 23, 2014 at 9:06 AM, Meral Shirazipour <
[email protected]> wrote:
>
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/
area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq.
>
>
>
> Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you
may receive.
>
>
>
> Document: draft-ietf-tcpm-fastopen-09
>
> Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour
>
> Review Date: 2014-07-23
>
> IETF LC End Date:   2014-07-23
>
> IESG Telechat date: NA
>
>
>
>
>
> Summary:
>
> This draft is ready to be published as Experimental RFC, but I have some
comments.
>
>
>
> Nits/editorial comments:
>
> -Abstract says "thus saving up to one full round trip time (RTT)": by
just reading the abstract one would think 1.5 RTT since initial 3WHS is
avoided.
>
> Reading the rest of the draft clarifies this though. Suggestion :
>
>
>
> "
>
> TFO allows data to be carried in the SYN and SYN-ACK packets
>
>    and consumed by the receiving end during 'an' initial connection
>
>    handshake, 'and' saves up to one full round trip time (RTT) compared
>
>    to the standard TCP, ......
>
> "

Sounds good except it's "the" initial connection.

>
>
>
> -[page 4] "MSL", to spell out at first use "maximum segment lifetime" (or
please consider mentioning reference to key TCP RFCs in Terminology
section).
ok
>
>
>
> -General: Also few other acronyms used without spelling out at first use,
please consider those as well.
>
>
>
> -[Page 7], 'Fast Open Cookie Option', it would be more familiar to IETF
community to call "Kind" field "Type", unless there was a reason for this
differentiation.

OK

>
> -[Page 10] please remove extra space (page break) if not needed.
>
>
>
> -[Page 12], typo "connection-sharding"--->"connection-sharing"
>
>
>
> -[page 14] "as a application"--->"as an application"
>
>
>
> -[Page 17], typo "Neverthless"--->"Nevertheless"
>
>
>
> -[Page 18], typo "meet the the"---->"meet the"
>
>
>
> -[Page 21], typo "in Section Section 4.1.1"---->"in Section 4.1.1"
>
>
>
> -[Page 21] please remove extra space (page break) if not needed.
>
>
OK except it is the connection-sharding, not connection sharing. The two
are opposite. To avoid confusion, I would rephrase to "If experiments with
TFO find that it encourages applications to use more parallel connections,
cookie-in-FIN may  prove to be a useful alternative"?

I'd upload a new version soon. Thanks for the review.

>
> Best Regards,
>
> Meral
>
>
>
>
>
> ---
>
> Meral Shirazipour
>
> Ericsson
>
> Research
>
> www.ericsson.com
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