Hi, Thanks for a quick reponse. OK with the proposed changes.
- Jouni > On 04 Feb 2016, at 00:02, James Winterbottom <[email protected]> > wrote: > > Hi Jouni, > > Please see inline: > > Assuming these changes are okay, I will re-issue once I have incorporated the > other requested changes and comments. > > Cheers > James > > >> On 4 Feb 2016, at 10:31 am, Jouni Korhonen <[email protected]> wrote: >> >> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review >> Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for >> the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD >> before posting a new version of the draft. For more information, please see >> the FAQ at < http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. >> >> >> - Jouni >> >> Summary: >> This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits >> that should be fixed before publication. The nits are only >> editorial. >> >> Comments: >> >> I do have little expertise on ECRIT topics in general so bear with me. >> >> * The I-D gives IDnits errors and stuff and those must be corrected. >> Specifically those that concern the abstract, updating RFCs and such. >> >> * Starting from Section 1 (Intro) most of the acronyms are not expanded >> on the first use.. or at all in the document. Revisit all acronyms >> including HELD, LoST etc and expand them on the first use. > [AJW] Done! > >> >> * The sentence on line 185 (IDnits) took me a while to parse ;) Maybe >> some rewording would make it a bit more readable. > [AJW] Okay > > Old "In countries amenable to the use of LoST and forest guides no public > forest guides have been deployed. > > Proposed “Even in countries amenable to the use of LoST and forest guides, no > public forest guides have yet been deployed”. > > >> >> * There is no reference to "forest guide". I would expect to see one >> and at least a note that it is a special instance of a LoST server. > [AJW] In the terms section I have added na explicit reference to RFC 5582 > which defines the overall mapping architecture. > >> >> * In Section 4 URN is written multiple times as "urn”. > [AJW] Fixed > >> >> * On line 290 s/PSAPS/PSAPs > [AJW] changed the text to read "It is important for devices and > intermediaries to take all steps possible to ensure > that emergency calls are routed to the correct PSAP.” > > >> >> * On lines 304 and 310 s/section/Section > [AJW] Fixed >> >> * On line 462 s/Layer 7/layer-7 > [AJW] Fixed] > >> > _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
