On Wed, Mar 16, 2011 at 18:18, Helga Hansen <[email protected]> wrote: > As far as I noticed, the idea to fork the list wasn't framed as a magic > bullet but as a means to have a safe space for women to talk about the gender > gap and how to tackle it. Unfortunately, quite a few of the responses really > did drive home the need for such a safe space. So far, this list seemed > rather preoccupied with debating its usefulness and some mens' conceptions > and feelings than working towards its purpose. ... [snip] > > PS: "Throwing a hissy fit” is, as urban dictionary puts it, “often used to > describe female anger at something trivial” and as such quite a loaded and > sexist proverb. It's demeaning towards women in implicating they're concerns > are less vaild and important than men's. On a list discussing gender-related > issues I'ld rather not work with people accusing me of such.
It's important to say something when men use words that make us uncomfortable; otherwise how else can they know? But it's also important to be kind, because the intentions are often good, especially on a list like this. I had a dear friend, a man in his 60s, one of the kindest people you could meet. We were in the office one day, and he saw a woman standing with a baby looking lost, so he asked her "who are you here with, my dear?" intending to help. She exploded, because the implication was she couldn't be staff or someone there for a professional meeting. She must be "with someone," because she was a woman with a child. He was so shocked by her response that a tear came to his eye. So we have to avoid tears here. :) But guys, please listen when women say there are issues with language and approach. I've seen a few posts on this list that have made me wince. I've not said anything only because I'm so used to it, and I don't want to start criticizing people and trying to silence them. But the issues are real. Please *do* mentally insert Blacks instead of women when you post, and Whites instead of men. It really can reveal fissures in thinking. Sarah _______________________________________________ Gendergap mailing list [email protected] https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/gendergap
