www.timesofindia.com - June 9, 2008 Balcao Banter
Complicated constructions The opposition to mega projects in Goa's villages had a builder grumbling the other day. "Nowadays it's so difficult for us to start constructions even after following all the rules and regulations." The Panaji-based patrao of a 'builders and developers' agency said further, "Some of our constructions are on a standstill because villagers are objecting to them. They don't see the positive side of getting employed. What's more, we cannot use machines for construction because they (villagers) unnecessarily get skeptical and oppose further construction. To stop such nuisance we have to resort to hiring labourers to do a job which then takes 10 days to complete. Machines take up just one day." Tongue firmly in cheek he concluded, "At this rate builders will start looking for other professions as an option because of the complexity involved in constructing buildings!" Nut of the matter The debate on whether a tomato is a vegetable or a fruit could well be applied to a Goan species that the Portuguese introduced. While chefs insist the tomato is a vegetable and a savoury one at that, scientists are adamant that the tomato is a fruit for it develops from the ovary in the base of the flower and contains the seeds of a plant. However, there is no such debate when it comes to the good ol' Goan cashew. Despite having its seed on the outside rather than at its core, it is nevertheless firmly thought of as a fruit. And speaking of its seed, the cashew nut is so tasty that it is a money spinner for thousands of people. Goa is the only place where the cashew apple is crushed — under the feet, at that — and juice extracted to make the, hic, feni, with a hard punch. Goats & garbage Ever wondered why the mutton you eat is stringy, tough and bony? Every Sunday, this banterer is awakened not by birds chirping or church bells ringing but by goats bleating. Even as the sun dawns, a salt and pepper bearded goatherd leads his flock to the slaughter, but before their necks are wrung, the goats have a final feast. As the goatherd rests a while he allows the goats to crunch up from the garbage that has been flung by passing motorists onto an open space in the capital city. If the goats eat garbage, can their flesh that is relished in homes later in the day be anything but inedible. Have teeth, can bite The police headquarters is abuzz with activity and enthusiasm these days. They have finally got an IGP who has a backbone and who is willing to take a stand against politicians as well as his own colleagues. And thankfully, the DGP is backing the man to the hilt. About six policemen were dismissed for misconduct or negligence of duty. More recently, a constable popular in the Vasco area as Buta Singh, posted at harbour for years together thanks to the blessings of a local minister, was transferred. When Singhji with the support of his political boss raised his head and roared, he was immediately silenced with a threat of disciplinary action against him. It's good to see an officer finally unafraid to use his powers. Copperfield meets his match It was a Friday and which better place to do your daily grocery shopping than the weekly Mapusa market? My mother decided to treat her family to a feast of prawns and so headed to the fish market to get a good bargain, or so she hoped. Once there, a very sweet lady sitting with her basket of fish beckoned my mother to have a look at the vaghio (tiger prawns). She offered a good deal, Rs 400 for a large vanto of prawns plus six vaghios. My mother couldn't believe her good luck! The day was turning out very well indeed. And so she carefully monitored the fisherwoman as she slid the prawns off her plank into the plastic bag, never once taking her eyes off the prawns. And as a good gesture the kind fisherwoman, brought to my mothers notice that she was throwing in an extra vaghio because my mom gave her the first buy of the day. The minute she reached home she called out to all of us to have a look at the 'great' bargain she got. And with a flourish she emptied the black plastic bag into the sink. To her horror and dismay, in the sink lay a handful of prawns and just one tiger prawn. How and when did the fisherwoman slip the others out, no one knows. Guess we do have magic in our fish. The half wit of half tickets If you're a student travelling by Goa's local buses, develop a rhino skin. Hating to give up that extra rupee, most conductors are rude to the point of absurdity. As happened on a local from Porvorim to Panaji. Unimpressed with the request for a half ticket, the conductor demanded to see the passenger's id card. As the student whipped it out, the surprised conductor (he probably thought he was calling a bluff) went on to curse the young girl as he grudgingly accepted the Rs 3. It left her wondering, first they ask for an id, then they curse you when you have it. Ma'amequin Musings On a Tuesday morning in June when standing near a garment store in the market we couldn't help notice that the usual mannequin wasn't around. Instead, a pretty woman in a frilly top was. Standing not too unlike the original dummy, she attracted the attention of two women walking past. Stopping to admire the pink blouse one said to the other, "this is very pretty, the fabric is really good"... All of a sudden the 'mannequin' came alive. "Excuse me!?!" She raised an eyebrow. The women jumped back in utter shock. Stammering "sorry sorry..." they scrambled away from the store. Looks, as they say, can indeed be deceptive. (Contributed by: Aishwarya Nair, Preetu Nair, Alexandre Moniz Barbosa, Paul Fernandes and Valencia Mascarenhas. Compiled by Nadia Desai)
