www.timesofindia.com - June 23, 2008 Balcao Banter
'Certain somebodies' only Pedro is a simpleton. But his friends are not. They are making him wise to the ways of the world. And they are seeing a dirty design, a putrid pattern in the recent postings. Why was the chairman of the Goa Board of Secondary and Higher Secondary Education removed and replaced with a certain somebody? Why was he not replaced with people like B A Gomes or Celsa Pinto? Again, why was the former director of information and publicity removed and replaced with a certain somebody? Then again, why is a certain somebody who heads the Higher Education post, holding charge of three departments? Pedro is fuming, "As if there are no other people in Goa. Kitle bore monis sott'ttai (How many good people are decaying). But only certain somebodies are favoured." And now, Cong (O) There were rumbles in the other Congress party the other day. As the top brass-men and women of the Nationalist Congress Party met, allegations of some of the lot playing truant flew around. One fuming matron blasted back, if we're not given respect, our chief will join the Congress and we will follow. She went on to thunder that India's oldest, still functional, party, has been sweet talking the leader for a while into joining back. Now, the chief in question is Dr Wilfred D'- Souza, Goa's octogenarian politician. It prompted a wily congress-man to quip, "We should change the party name from Congress (I) to Congress (O) for 'old age home'." Balcao-made weddings Contrary to popular belief, arranged marriages are still considered to be the 'in thing' in Goa. If you are not one of those starry-eyed, 'so-in-love' types, it won't be long before your doting mother, concerned aunt or speculating neighbour tries to hook you up with that 'decent' boy who has just arrived from the Gulf or that 'homely' girl who is a pro at cooking, cleaning and stitching. However, while one would expect the first meeting of the prospective husband and wife to be a pleasant ice-breaker, think again. Mostly held on neutral turf, say at the local restaurant or in the living room of a brother's wife's cousin's friend's house, such meetings have the capacity to spiral out of control. Take the instance of naive Joao and Katarin. Joao a self-employed electrician and Katarin a baby sitter, thought they had finally found their perfect matches in each other, that too over the telephone. When the formal meet between both the families was set up in the balcao of Pedro's distant, farflung relative, Joao and Katarin ex-changed coy looks at each other and even a remote grin. But that only lasted until Pedro's mother paraded up and down, examining Katarin from head to toe en route and quizzing her and her unsuspecting mother about all things trivial. Then came the 'show' stopper. Joao's mai, upon discovering that Katarin's younger sister had already been married off and was even a mommy herself, remarked, "Avoi saiba! If your younger sister is married before you, tu sarkem fail mu go! (You are a failure). And you don't even know how to embroider. Did you just sit at home after studying?" Of course, Katarin's attempts at explaining that she had to work to help sustain the family as soon as she completed school, fell on deaf ears as her mother-in-law 'not' to be was busy conjuring all the possible reasons why she shouldn't allow her mogacho put (dear son) to hook up with this unmarried 'failure'. So much for living in the 21st century! Till 7 lifetimes do us part And speaking about weddings and the 21st century, we carried a report on Vata Savitri, the ritual where women starve through the day, praying that they be granted the favour of spending seven lifetimes with the same husband. It prompted a reader to call the Panaji office. While complimenting the writer for the article, she quipped, "Would men do the same and pray to God to grant them the same wife for seven lifetimes?" Our reporter lightly bantered, "Maybe you could ask your husband that question?" Prompt came the reply, "I did ask him this morning, he laughed and walked out of the house." Tears for Portugal The demise of the former colonial power at Euro 08 brings on the customary flow of tears in Goa. Unlike the rest of India where an England defeat is generally greeted with morbid joy. If one mourns the absence of the brand of football associated with Cristiano Ronaldo and Co. that's no longer going to be on display at the European showpiece, that's understandable. But, pray, why does it have to be 'Portugaal, Portugaal, Portugaal' everytime a Euro or World Cup event comes along? Weren't they our colonial subjugators? Are we still carrying the quandary of being Portuguese, albeit in a forced, converted sort of way? Aren't there any takers for the teutonic Germans — also, surprisingly nimble of foot and sublime of skill evident on Thursday night? Or even the underdogs — Russia? Come on Goa. Football doesn't begin and end with Portugal. Showers don't wash Life in the city's fastest lane is sheer joy for those behind the wheels of swift and swanky cars. They can make a real 'splash' here during the monsoon and get away with it. They can whiz by before anybody can recover their breath. What a breathtaking sight as they slice through water, and leave the less privileged pedestrians and scooter riders dumbfounded. The fast-lane is definitely not for these poorer beings during the rains. Yes, Miramar's four-lane road — from the office of the Sports Authority of Goa (SAG) to Miramar circle it is three-and-half lanes, mind you — fills up like a swimming pool after a few sharp showers. But all those people in plush cars moving on this route with their glasses securely rolled up have nothing to worry about. They can watch with glee as their cars roll by like lightning, leaving scooterists and pedestrians 'splashed'. Beauty & the burdened The plush new hospital that is expected to be operational at Peddem from July end, has generated a grudging admiration amongst the medical fraternity in the Goa Medical College (GMC). While the 230-bed, fully computerised new hospital, with its eight operation theatres, each plushed in stainless steel is a stunning structure sitting majestically across 19,310 square metres of built up area; its colossal counterpart at Bambolim is a 1,030-bed overburdened hospital, with 17 operation theatres (with many, missing bare essentials such as cotton and scalpels) and a mortuary with 60 cabinets of which only 32 are presently working. "Yes the Peddem hospital is very beautiful. Just like a Western hospital," sighed a senior doctor. Does this mean we're going to see a sudden spurt in doctor transfers? And finally... All this talk about naxalites in the state, led one young journo, to put this status report on his chat id: If all those who oppose the mining mafia are naxalites, all I'll say is viva la naxalites! Also, viva Sao Joao! Let's hope Mr P celebrates Sao Joao by jumping into a mining quarry at Sanguem. (Joaquim Fernandes, Raju Nayak, Paul Fernandes, Misha Fernandes, Andrew Pereira, Errol D'Cruz and Nigel Britto. Compiled by Nadia Menezes e Desai)
