www.timesofindia.com - June 16, 2008 Balcao Banter
13-day CM again? When we met the strong man from the South last week at the height of the rumour mongering that the government was on its way out, the man thundered, "So long as I'm with Digambar, his government will not fall." A few seconds later, as is the habit with the breed we call politicians, he roared, "The opposition leader will never be able to form a government without me." A few days later, a fly on the wall informed us, "Big daddy's been talking to some of the younger, greener brigade, asking them to join 'his' party." We're not sure who's stabbing whom exactly in this game, but here's definitely one man who has his cake and is gloriously eating it too... for now! Guarantees & gafflas Pedro is amazed at Junior Rane's strength of conviction when he gives a 5-year guarantee to the Digambar Kamat government. As if the government was a modern product made by a conglomerate from Japan. Loyal Congressmen are telling Pedro that in reality, there is no guarantee of even five days. Some are saying something could happen even within eight days. Poor Pedro is perplexed at the rumour mongering. Reports have it that the Congress party, admittedly a vast ocean, has a number of loose canons. Mummy is mute but not happy at all. Shyam Satardekar is silent but simmering. The NCP men, particularly the dormant volcano from Benaulim, are fidgety. And there is always Babush from Taleigao who is being denied his due in the cabinet despite assurances. Pedro is particularly pained at the unkindest cut of all, that too coming from a Congressman. That it was "tension and daily harassment" to the Pale Congress MLA Gurudas Gawas that did him in. Of Books & CDs At the launch of a Konkani book by a seasoned writer, the author lamented the use of technology by tiatrists to promote their work. "They put out more than 50 shows of their dramas and then release CDs and DVDs. To watch these, one needs to have a DVD player at home. On the other hand, if they published a book, not only is it cheaper to produce and requires no effort to pick up, one can read and re-read it." Further lamenting that several popular tiatrists have contributed much to the Konkani stage but have left nothing for posterity, he asked, "How will they be remembered for their sacrifices towards the cause of Konkani?" A matter of internet killing the printed star we think. Mothers please note Goan bus conductors are a quintessential lot. Temperamental, often uncouth with an innate talent for stuffing passengers in a manner that would put a tin of sardines to shame. At times, they also have wit seasoned with experience on their side. Stopping to load a bratish bunch of young children and their mothers at a Caranzalem stop recently, the harried conductor yelled to the matrons to enter the bus together with their children so that the kids, with bags double their little frames, didn't stand 'lost' in the passageway. When it came the turn to off-load the brigade, the children were once again the ones out first shooting across the busy thoroughfare. The conductor couldn't hold it in any longer. "Mothers today," he fumed, "They're so modern they've forgotten their innate ability to raise kids." Gender fender A colleague and her sister were cruising along the Margao-Panaji highway, stereo on loud, wind in their hair, filling each other on the latest gossip. The sister, used to Goan roads, made her way smoothly through traffic, overtaking random cars that were refusing to go faster than 40 km/hr, honking at vehicles that were in her way, and somehow zooming along fast, yet managing to avoid bumping into any oncoming car. Just as they slowed to a stop, a man whose car had been tailing theirs for a while, but hadn't managed to get ahead, stuck his head out of his window and shouted to the sister in utmost amazement, "Wow! You drive so well... just like a man!" Bomb's away Friday the 13th's bomb scare at Junta House may have been a false alarm, but it was scary enough for the officials who work there as our reporter discovered. Calling the Directorate of Transport for some information, the phone, normally picked up in a jiffy, rang to almost it's final buzz when a nervous sounding assistant director picked it up. When asked for inputs to a story, he quickly put if off for Monday blaming it on the pen-down strike. The reporter persisted, insisting that the deadline was a sword of Damocles over her head and she could come down personally to the office and pick it up. To which the by now very anxious officer blurted, "Madam, there's a bomb scare here and if you speak to me a little longer you might not find me here on Monday." (Gauree Malkarnekar, Joaquim Fernandes, Raju Nayak, Pio Esteves, Anabelle Colaco, Nadia Desai. Compiled by Nadia Desai)
