No, I don't care if "lots of other people" think I'm not "nice," or
whatever. Or whether they "like" me or not.
I don't believe in the traditional (and outmoded) female role model of
constantly saying, "of course, it's only my opinion," "it's just my two
cents," "your mileage may vary," "what does the rest of the group
think?" ad nauseum.
That's all about conformity. It has nothing to do with kindness,
helpfulness, informativeness, or any positive virtue. Those are just
continual statements that a woman is not supposed to think independently
and that she should always be ready to back down the instant someone
disagrees with her or says she's "rude."
It has nothing to do with real friendhip. A large percentage of the
women playing out that role are constantly trying to stab each other in
the back just under the line of what "the group"--whichever group it
is--will openly complain about. Or getting together to gang up on each
other, because if you've got enough people on your side, apparently it's
OK to be as nasty as you want.
Men, on the other hand, do not have to apologize every time they make a
statement. They just do it. If more women felt OK about saying what
they thought and doing what they wanted, maybe they'd stop trying to get
everyone else to conform and lead more productive lives themselves.
Fran
Lavolta Press
http://www.lavoltapress.com
Sue Clemenger wrote:
??<insert Vulcan eyebrow raise here>
Fran, I don't know you in person, but the tone of your notes does sometimes
come across as, well, touchy. Don't know if you care or not, but the
original poster's not the only one to think that....
--Sue
_______________________________________________
h-costume mailing list
[email protected]
http://mail.indra.com/mailman/listinfo/h-costume
