Greetings--
I don't believe in the traditional (and outmoded) female role model of
constantly saying, "of course, it's only my opinion," "it's just my
two cents," "your mileage may vary," "what does the rest of the group
think?" ad nauseum.
That's all about conformity. It has nothing to do with kindness,
helpfulness, informativeness, or any positive virtue. Those are just
continual statements that a woman is not supposed to think
independently and that she should always be ready to back down the
instant someone disagrees with her or says she's "rude."
I can't say I agree with you that it's about conformity or being
female. It *can* be about conformity, but it also can be about
leadership. I am a project manager by profession, and I absolutely have
to say in team meetings "what does the rest of the group think"? My job
is to lead the project--but I'll be the first to admit that I don't know
much about software programming, and I'm going to rely on the experts to
tell me if that schedule I'm expecting them to follow is unreasonable.
If I don't do that, project fails, no matter how "strong" I am.
Sometimes I have to turn around and then say to that expert who told me
they could get something done in ten days, "OK, it's the seventh day and
you're only 50% done. What's with that?" and hold them to their
commitment.
I'll agree that women should not just back down because someone
disagrees with them or calls them rude. However, I can't agree that
being honest about one's opinions or asking for input from others is
necessarily a bad trait. It all depends on the way it's done and how.
Susan
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