If I may interrupt the dance .....I think its time to change the tune.!
 

Rehana

Lobster wrote:

 
Yes... we can agree on possibly suspicious, then?
=========OK==========  
4) Any other scenarios? (I am including the possibility of spammers in scenario 3, btw)
==========recently whilst trying to fix computersit became obvious what was the cause of it not workinguntil that possibility was removed- then it could only be [insert cause]- that was removed and so on . . .Scenarios are based on our tendencies, experience and knowledge- some people blame everything on the bios, or on viruses or hardware,or malcontents or microsoft etc . . . some even think it is an act of God . . .==========  > ===========
> I understand that the email is real
> Perhaps Joe who runs the Panhala list and is on this forum can
> provide some possibilities of how this 'suspicious' email came to be? I don't think that Joe had anything to do with this email. If a list owner wants a member to leave a list, they can just remove the member and that action does not send any confirmation mail asking the member to confirm that they want to unsub.
==================Again you are jumping to interpretationsI am suggesting Joe may be able to HELPnot that he is a black hat================== 
I was not playing a game with you or anyone else. The person who freaked me out WAS playing a game... and at the time i felt that truth counts for something... You know, sacred space has been talked about even on this list - and there is a sort of logo (or something) in the files section that says sacred space. i think it is one that ts made for you.
===========Maybe they wereWhat do you feel was your role in this game?===========  
You are saying that people here have the right to assume that it is their role to "improve" others if they decide to and to act on that without consideration of the boundaries or circumstances of the other person.
 
===========
I expect people to behave reasonably
Spam is deleted (unreasonable)
If people wish to improve others in terms of knowledge
or any other way they are welcome to try
- try me try me -
 
As for boundaries they too need to be reasonable
Yours are not (on occasion)
===========
 
 
There was no bad behavior from me. I posted a simple request looking for technical advice and ts replied in a way that crossed a boundary that had been set more than a year ago. Psychological analysis on the part of ts is unwelcome. He does not have, as far as i know, the credentials to do such... AND a public email forum is NOT the proper place to conduct that... UNLESS the person agrees to it...It is a matter of consensuality between people.... i do not consent to being the subject of ts' psychological improvement efforts.
 
========
then delete his 'ramblings', delete his 'intrusive efforts'
You are making a judgement about someone I see as quite innocent
and demanding they change, were as you are quite empowered to deal with
the situation
 
You are welcome to say you do not agree with ts
or it is useless or unhelpful or whatever
===========
 
 
Lob, you know me pretty well and you know my circumstances (i think). Do you think that there is something that ts can "improve" that years of therapy with IvyLeage professionals have not been able to totally eliminate? I am a great believer in healing and i know what feels healing to me and what does not...
 
==========
You say that is not possible
OK
So why not just as when
people advise that a computer glitch
may be caused by (insert unlikely explanation)
we just thank and delete
 
Do we demand that person not provide help or suggestions
unless they have been vetted by [insert required qualities]?
 
==========
 
 
Now, you can choose to say that my saying that "disables others who are trying to enable me" - so be it. There are limits and there are boundaries and there should be respect.
==========
I see both you and ts as being respectful
your behaviour appears unreasonable
- though that is just my unreasonable perception . . .
==========
 
 
 
Yes, given proper boundaries and proper qualifications on their part, and sensitivity and tact and diplomacy and respect.
=============Some people are oversensitiveand some insensitiveThat is life=============  People can still get harmed even when the other is operating with "good intent." In my situation, things are fairly complicated... Someone's "innocent" well-meaning good intentions can still be harmful and ultimately inappropriate. I set a boundary with ts more than a year ago...
===========You may have set a boundary in your head
and think it lasts for everThat may be so.I do not know - goal posts change . . .===========  
 
people can respect boundaries of others
people can honor agreements that have been made between them previously
people can be more sensitive
people can work on trying to "improve" themselves first instead of trying to "improve" me or others
people can learn what is an appropriate way to treat others who have different limitations
 
==========
yes indeed
========
 
Lob, i should not have to be put in the position of explaining all of this very very very very private information here. i know you are trying to be helpful... i TRUST that you are trying to be helpful... but there are other places and other ways this could have been discussed or accomplished... this hurts.
===========
I do not remember you being asked to provide
private info

I am trying to be helpful

but as you point out this may not be possible

If it hurts - don't do it

I am not in pain

so there is no reason to stop

Do you have a reason to stop?

Can you?

Who is responsible here?

Lobster

============

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