I  think  I  finally found the problem after about 20 hrs of testing
and 6 hours of Microsoft phone support. It turns out the DNS servers
provided  by  our  ISP was something funky wrong with them.

Yup,  a  problem "outbound stuck in queue" is almost always DNS, not a
local  issue.  Never  give  a  once-trusted  DNS server a "pass" until
you've  done interactive lookups on the exact domains you're trying to
send to. Glad you got it.

www.opendns.com

This is available for free for business use (for now), including mailservers.
Anybody ever use them?  Trust them?

Their anti-phishing ability sounds useful for additional security over and above IE7 & FF2.0 built in anti-phish.

They seem to be gearing up for heavy use, from their 12/19 blog:
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OpenDNS serves half a billion queries. w00t!!!
posted by David Ulevitch on December 19th, 2006 in General, Announcements, Stats

Today is a big milestone for OpenDNS. We served over 500,000,000 DNS requests in a single day. It seems like just yesterday that we hit 4 billion queries total and 100,000,000 queries per day. That's child's play these days.

If you've liked us in 2006, you're going to love us in 2007. We've got some really fantastic technologies coming together that are going to continue to make the Internet a sweeter place to be (and it's pretty sweet already).
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Doug Traylor
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