The reason that I like ASPQMail is that it runs as an NT service.  So when an application sends mail with the Queue flag positive then the message is simply dropped into a directory.  The NT service then periodically checks the directory for contents and if found sends all messages it finds.  I personally believe this is less taxing to the server than some of the alternatives.
 
The user who submits a web page using the Queue is returned almost immediately whereas any program that has to make a socket, connect to the socket, send the message, and then close the socket will take at least 4 seconds.
 
Another nice feature of ASPQmail that can be utilized is the Failed folder which contains all failures and can be further processed if so desired.  Even in the event the service stops for some reason the messages are not lost but sitting in the Queue.  When the service starts up they will be sent.  And there is a Watchdog utility to monitor the service itself.
 
Of course it doesn't have to be ASPQMail to provide these benefits but any program that would work in similar fashion.  As has been stated already you could use the MS SMTP service with CDONTS.  Also It is not so difficult to actually place messages directly into the IMAIL queue either achieves the same result without an intermediary step.
 
ASPQMail does allow designation of mail servers which is often necessary in the case of multiple clients.
 
But unless you control all the domains it is not possible to force someone to employ the queue flag as far as I know.
 
 

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