>
>1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
>
>2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
>
>3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
going to a
>
>garage makes you a mechanic.
>
>4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
>
>5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've
never tried
>
>before.
>
>6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
>
>7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is
serious.
>
>8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
>
>9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government
program.
>
>10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the
trip.
>
>11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
>
>12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so
good.
>
>13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
>
>14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
>
>15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
>
>16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
>
>17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of
the waist
>
>change places.
>
>18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
>
>19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three
weeks
>
>before you need it.
>
>20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
>
>21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize
a mistake
>
>when you make it again.
>
>22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
>
>23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
>
>24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the
real world.
>
>25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall
never cease
>
>to be amused.
>
