I disagree wholeheartedly. Love is a feeling. What we do with it in
regards to others is the action. I don't know about you or others but those
who have received my love, my feelings of love, have received unconditional
love. Whether they have broken my heart, spurned my overtures, or given me
some kind of love, of theirs, in return, it did not alter or change my
feeling of love for them. Nothing could. For me, to have loved them in the
first place meant that I would love them forever. And I do. It will always
be there and nothing, be that their actions, abscence, indifference, etc,
will or could ever change that.
----- Original Message -----
From: "colin" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: "Mags" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Cc: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2001 7:12 PM
Subject: Re: in search of the meaning of love njc
> Unfortunately love is a much mis used word. We ascribe the love love to
> many feelings that are not love. Love is an action rather than a
> feeling.
> Love is having unconditonal positive regard for people(and animals) in
> general. Love is helping not hindering. Love is accepting as is.
> Love is giving and receiving.(yes receiving-have you ever thought that
> when you refuse a gift or help you are rejecting love? Like when people
> say, in response to you wanting to give them something'oh I couldn't
> possibly'. They think they are geing humble and self effacing when in
> fact they are being proud, rejecting, hurting-but I digress).
>
> People often say that the love a parent feels for a child is the only
> true love. Bollocks to that. Soemtimes it is but oft times it is
> conditonal.
>
> People say they love their partner and that it is real. It isn't. It is
> conditonal. Don't believe me? wait till your partner cheats on you, hits
> you, ignores your feelings, refuses sex, gets fat, gets old, goes grey.
> I am not saying the love between partners and offsrping is not real. I
> am just saying it sin't always love. It has conditions.
>
> As soon as love has conditons put upon it it isn't love.
>
> Many people sadly believ that God's love is condtional-upon behaviour,
> upon belief, upon all sorts of things. They limit God. they cannot
> conceive of pure uncondtional love because they are unable to give that
> sort of love themselves.
>
> The feelings people experience in the first flushes of a relationship
> are not love. These feelings go, are tranisent, are what gets people
> together. It often means that when they are gone, so is the
> realitonship.
>
> I have lived with my partner for 20years. I love my partner the way I
> do, I am human. But I don't love him the way he desreves-whollly and
> unconditonally. Why? Because I am human and not capable at this time. If
> he molested a child or killed one amd i likely to carry on feeling the
> same way toward him? If he became a Nazi or white supremicist? Of course
> not! I would feel betrayed, ashamed, stupid, bereft. All of which
> suggest my love is not unconditonal. Al;though I wish it were, i have no
> shame in saying my love is not uncodtional because I know yours(meaning
> evryone elses) isn't either!
>
> I know I am loved exactly as I am, now, tomorrow and forever. whetehr or
> not I change, improve, back track, beliebv this of believe that. I also
> know that love is not from my fellow beings.
