Lama,
  I have not reveled my gender or sexual preference on list
because I find that any such reference brings with it some bias,
however small, to what is written.  That includes a white male.
It is wrong to be prejudiced against anyone, even bigots.  Each
and every one of us has been limited in speech because of political
correctness. I know Nixon is not a popular figure, but I was young
when he resigned and I remember these words, "If people hate you,
and you hate them back, you gain nothing. You only destroy yourself."
As years have passed I may have rearranged the words, but the meaning
is the same. I've made lasting friendships with people who have said they
wouldn't have been had they known some things about me.  I take that
as a compliment.  It was through not hating them, allowing them to believe
as they did, that I broke through their bigotry. By the way, I am a white,
female lesbian.  I am very comfortable in my own skin, and it is because
of that, that others opinions don't really mater.  I don't think you are
homophobic, and I welcome your opinion.
Kasey

Not that my opinion is going to sway the future of the Western World or
anything, but....   Joni's soliloqy on the pitch of female voices has a what
"passes" as the vague character of homophobia.

I get that "homophobia" charge all the time.  Over the weekend, my
girlfriend asked her nephew if I looked a little like a little boy, like an
older Harry Potter.  Michael hesitated, then said, "See, there's this
unspoken code if you're......."

"Straight," I said.

"Right," he said.  Then he & I laughed nervous laughs.  He continued: "If
you're straight, you don't comment in any way about another guy's looks."

Anna upbraided both of us for being homophobic.

It's also an unspoken code, which I had broken, that if you're straight, you
never discuss other lifestyles in anyway.  If I say, "It's a perfectly valid
choice," it's my understanding that I'm offensive on 2 counts: 1.  Sexuality
is not a choice.  and 2.  No one, of any orientation, needs *permission*
from a straight white man to be what they are.  It's not up to me to confer
permission.

I get it.  I see the points.  It's not really fair to me, as an outspoken,
mildly political person, but it's a resonably small thing to ask of
straights: "Stay out of the politics."

Or have I missed the point?  (Again?) :)


Lama

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