I saw a post on Jurassic Park and I have to warn everyone: my wonderful
6 year old grandson and I saw Jurassic park 3 last Friday and I should
clue you in that we are very experienced Jurassic park movie watchers,
having watched 1 and 2 hundreds of times (about a million times less
than we have seen Titanic and Charlie Brown's football, Easter, and
Christmas specials - we tend to watch the same movies over and over and
over...)
anyway, there is one thing, and one thing only that you see a dinosaur
movie for, and that is to see dinosaurs eat people. There is no other
reason to watch. Gage and I amuse ourselves by yelling "snack time"
every time a dinosaur eats a person. (Also yelling "snack time" clues
him in this is special effects, not reality, and it works for us, makes
it all funny and not intense - go ahead, try it!)
So Jurassic Park 3 "dinosaur eating people" rating is a dismal,
horrible, 2 - only 2 people get eaten and that is early on and just when
you are thinking that a 3rd person gets eaten, a hokey and contrived
miracle rescue happens somehow that we never did figure out.
Is it violent? I don't think so, and if you talk it over about special
effects enough the kids know it is what it is - good old scary fun. I
was much concerned with the sexual overtones of Shrek (in which funniest
line is the Gingerbread man yelling "eat me" which is funny but in a
kids movie?) and Dr Doolittle 2 (in which we are supposed to pull for
the male bear to mate with the female bear when she goes into heat, and
I am not prepared to tell gage what "heat" is but he didn't ask).
Of course the funniest line in Dr Doolittle 2 happens to be "so young,
so angry, damn the rap music" which is ok except I try to not laugh at
swearing in movies when i am with Gage so as not to encourage a double
standard on language - but it was a hysterically funny, funny line in
the movie, damn it.
Jurassic Park 3 does end with dinosaurs flying off to freedom (we were
hoping the dinosaurs would take on the US armed forces, but they just
passed up that story opportunity). If they correct the
dinosaur-eating-people problems of JP3, JP4 might we worth watching!
(the Rev) Vince, NPIMH yelling "snack time" with Gage
