Wade Curry wrote:
Lan Barnes([EMAIL PROTECTED])@Fri, May 20, 2005 at 04:52:35PM -0700:
Of course, in practice, we threw in the clutch, braked to a halt, propped
open the hood and did some nasty banging with that hammer. Curiously, no
one ever seemed to get mad at the traffic block -- mostly they just
laughed. Those were simpler days ;-)
What _I_ want to know is exactly how it was discovered that banging
on the engine with a hammer was an effective way to fix, rather
than break, the darn thing. I'm trying to picture Lan getting
stuck in traffic the first time and deciding to try the hammer
first for no other reason than the fact that it was his favorite
tool. ... Now where seems a good place to start whacking this
beast into submission? :-)
Wade
I'll tell you why. Because that was the only way to get the damned thing
out of gear.
I drove a `60 Rambler Classic for a while, which I got from my Sister
for free (sort of, read on). I was building the engine in my truck at
the time and needed cheap temporary transportation. Let me tell you a
little about this car.
It was owned for several years by my maiden Great Aunt who bought it at
about the age of 70-odd years old. In fact it was one of the cars I
practiced driving in. It was a four-door sedan, six-cylinder, manual
transmission (three-on-the-tree) with a torque-tube rear axle-driveshaft
and power nothing.
Aunt Vera traded in her fairly new Cadillac for it because the caddy had
a problem with the power windows - that and my Aunt was gullible and
knew less than nothing about cars except what she was told (boy were
those salesmen at Davies Motors good!).
My sister bought the car from her for $300 in about 1980 after my Great
Aunt decided to give up driving (having been ticketed for going too slow
on the freeway).
Soon after my sister got the car, the clutch went out. My Aunt drove
with three feet.
Now, if you know anything about torque-tube rear ends, you know the
driveshaft is sealed in a tube full of 90 weight. This torque-tube
connects with a special ball joint and seal to the transmission and is
held together with special tapered bolts. In replacing the clutch, my
brother-in-law lost the special tapered bolts. They were irreplaceable.
That also meant that the seal would not work.
The ultimate and timely result of this being a thrown tooth on the ring
gear, and a hole in the rear of the banjo housing.
Did I mention the problem with the previously mentioned shift linkage?
Like Russian T60 tanks, a sledge hammer was standard equipment to get it
/out/ of gear. But I'll get to that soon enough.
As serendipity would have it, at about the same time, our grandfather
decided get rid of his `61 Rambler American which had been sitting for a
decade. (He had upgraded to the more futuristic '72 Hornet - specially
ordered new, like the American, factory-stripped of all but sheetmetal,
engine and wheels).
I had just done the brakes, clutch (our grandfather also drove with
three feet), and full tune-up on the American.
Just before selling the car, our grandfather decided that he'd better
clean the gas tank because "You know, if you let them sit empty for
years, they gunk up". So, against my advice, he filled the tank with
lacquer thinner. Drained it, filled it with gas, and sold the car to my
sister for $300 (this was about 1980).
After driving awhile, the engine would quit. The solution was to open
the hood, remove the glass bowl from the bottom of the fuel pump (odd
how there was a fuel filter, but no oil filter on the six-cylinder
engine), rinse about a cup of varnish out of the fuel filter and bowl,
replace the bowl, crank, and drive off.
For about an eighth of a mile, at which point the process was repeated.
It didn't take many eight-miles before my sister and her husband decided
to make one good car out of two. The gas tank went from the Classic to
the American, along with the tires. This is how I acquired the `60
Classic complete with the now bad gas tank, trashed rear end, bad shift
linkage, and bald tires.
I used to like a challenge back when I was young. Or I was manic.
I spent $50 on four used tires. I spent about ten bucks on a gallon of
the Fuller Paint Company's "Slushing Compound" which I used to seal the
inside of the gas tank. Only getting an eighth mile or less between
filter changes was too much for even a /free/ car!
I ordered some new parts for the shift linkage from Davies Motors (turns
out AMC didn't make many or their own parts so it took a while for their
vendor to send me the parts) and along with some junk yard parts the
linkage was mostly fixed. The hammer was then relocated from the front
seat to the trunk.
I welded the hole in the rear axle.
I drove the car. Most of the time.
Parking or stopping facing downhill was a no-no. In fact, /driving/
downhill was a no-no. Pesky gravity tended to cause the axle to
eventually empty its contents of oil. It was hard to tell when it was
getting dry. The thing howled so bad with that missing tooth that it was
literally impossible to hear the radio full blast (yes it did have a
working radio let alone talk to anyone while moving. But no biggie,
weekly refills of the axle was a small price to pay for a "free" car.
Of course, just about as often, but more unpredictably, one found
oneself revving the engine in gear and going 0 MPH. "Oh! I guess it's
time to crawl under and re-attach the driveshaft to the transmission. No
biggie".
You see, because of that special ball joint I mentioned, and the missing
specially tapered bolts, you couldn't just cinch the damn thing up
tight. It had to move with the suspension or worse things would happen.
But normal bolts would not stay in. Eventually the nuts came off (no
matter what you did - within reason, given the price of the car), and
the bolts fell out or broke. Usually this happened as a result of
backing up, so the parts didn't go far. But on occasion, and much more
entertainingly, things came apart while driving. Wouldn't of wanted to
be *you* following *me*. :^O
I kept a set of spare bolts, nuts, and washers on hand - right next to
the spare fuel filter, and the spare 90 weight. And the hammer. Oh, and
some wire coat hangers (safety wire so the torque tube didn't drop on
the ground when it came loose. Also useful as a crude come-along when
putting it back together again.
I was a college student fresh out of the Navy with no money and not much
of a job. But the car was free, and life was good.
Until that pesky shift linkage problem finally had the last laugh. After
years at the mercy of the linkage, third gear went out. No biggie! If
you've ever driven a six-cylinder Rambler, you know that you only really
need one gear. And I still had two.
So life was a little more annoying, but still bearable. Until the tranny
stuck in second gear (was that before or after I ran over my own
muffler?). But like I said, you only need one gear. Reverse? Turns out
it's not really all that hard to avoid situations where you might have
to back up. That, and the car was easy enough to push.
Well, this beast is about to get on my nerves. But I don't need to go
far, and it sure beats walking. Can't get much worse.
Bang! What the hell was that? I guess having only second gear is still a
bit of overkill for basic transportation. Now I don't have neutral
either! Clutch linkage is gone. No biggie! If you've ever driven a
Rambler, you know that the starter works just fine as a clutch. And
since we don't need nothin' more than second gear anyway, now we're not
only relieved of the burden of shifting, but also of having to push in
that pesky clutch pedal as well. Almost as good as an automatic. If not
for this bright lining, that cloud could almost be black!
Then came the day I got in to go to school and put my foot on the brake,
whereupon the pedal went clear to the floor.
Okay, maybe I don't need all the teeth in the rear end, or be able to
hear. I may not need a clutch, or more than one gear or need to go
backwards. I don't mind having to stop the engine at every light. Or
even occasionally re-attaching the rear axle.
BUT I SURE AS HELL NEED BRAKES!!!
Epilogue
I went back into the house, called in an ad in the Penny Saver. and that
weekend, I sold the car for $50 (what I paid for tires) to a welder who
built trailers. Turns out that whatever other mythical or exaggerated
problems Ramblers might have had, they also had magical and much sought
after front spindles. You see, they actually unbolt from the steering
knuckle which makes them ideal for use in fabricating trailer axles. Who
knew!
Moral
The hundred bucks or so that I put into it was the best money I ever
spent on the most fun and entertaining car I've ever owned. Ah, to be
young and ignorant again.
--
Best Regards,
~DJA.
--
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