Christian Seberino wrote:
On Mon, March 26, 2007 8:24 pm, Karl Cunningham wrote:
I'm glad you asked your wife about this. Marriage may not necessary be an
unrealistic impractical notion after all!
For both genders this
is a preference, not a requirement. Lust and horny feelings can dominate
for both genders.
People are free to not have their preferences and settle for less.
That is a shame if they settle for less than the ideal however.
This leaves out a large category of people who have sex and are in
serious, committed (to varying degrees), unmarried relationships. For
them the relationship is often very emotional, with plenty of stability
and future, and sex is certainly more than casual.
What do you mean by committed? If a couple is really committed why would
they be against getting married? If they're committed then they've made a
commitment which sounds a lot like marriage.
I don't think marriage is impractical or unrealistic, for those willing
to enter into such a legally-binding arrangement. For most of us, our
first significant relationship is not with the person we end up with
late in life. Those earlier relationships can, IMO, successfully be
sexual as well as emotional. And they may be entered into with long-time
goals in mind, or not.
For many people, myself included, spending one's entire life with one
partner is not a very probable outcome. Shit happens, as they say. You
don't need to go into a serious relationship with that in mind, but I
think it's naive to completely ignore the possibility.
Unfortunately, laws of this state (and most other) make it way too
difficult to divorce. That, among many other reasons is why some in
committed relationships choose not to get married. Yes, I know that
common-law states say that you're automatically married if you've spend
N amount of time together. And I think that's another shortcoming of the
law. And before anyone jumps on me, I do agree with spousal support
under some conditions.
I don't think one needs a reason to not get married. It's the other way
around, that people should have a reason TO get married. If there's no
reason to, there's no need to.
I have known several people in long-term relationships who choose not to
get married. Another example: one of the reasons my wife and I chose to
get married was in deference to our children, who (we felt) might have
been teased in school had their peers found out we weren't married.
Karl
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