THE REDHEADED LADY

A young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts
wherever she touches it.

"That's strange," says the doctor.  "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony.  She
pushes her knee and screams, then pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she
touches makes her scream.

The doctor then asks, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"

"No," she says, "I'm actually a blonde.."

"I thought so," the doctor says.  "Your finger is broken."


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Morris & Esther


Morris and his wife Esther went to the State Fair every year, and every
year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that airplane."
Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that airplane ride costs 50
dollars, and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."

One year Morris and Esther went to the fair and Morris said, "Esther,
I'm  85 years old.  If I don't ride that airplane I might never get another
chance."

Esther replied, "Morris, that airplane ride costs 50 dollars, and 50
dollars is 50 dollars!!"
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal.  I'll
take you both up for a ride.  If you can stay quiet for the entire ride
and not say one word, I won't charge you; but if you say one word, it's
50 dollars."

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went.  The pilot did all kinds of
twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard.  He did all
his tricks over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did
everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Morris replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Esther fell out,
but  50 dollars is 50 dollars!"

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