Convalescing from what? Day time telly, it's a slippery slope , you'll be watching loose women next.
I have just had a month off work and managed to avoid Jezza Kyle, anything with David Dickinson in, etc but did watch 'Homes under the Hammer' where I learnt that you could buy a grotty little terrace in some god forsaken shithole and turn it into a newly painted terrace house that some simpleton would buy without realising that the could have done a bit of DIY and saved themselves 15 grand. On 7 Mar 2013, at 09:20, "Robert Woodmansey" <[email protected]> wrote: > Im convalescing > > A lot of time on my hands. > > Im actually watching daytime TV for the first time ever. The great British > bake off and need to ask some gentlemen of a certain age some simple > questions. > Betty and Rog, has Kirsty Wark been elevated to the list of acceptable older > totty yet ? Cherie Lunghi, Francesca Annis, Sharon Stone and Yasmin Le Bon, > if they come on the telly in the ward is it OK if I have a tug under the > blanket ? > > > > > > > > > > On 7 Mar 2013, at 08:38, Chris Briggs wrote: > >> Blimey Rob, had they run out of Coco Pops and fizzy vimto again? >> >> >> >> On 7 Mar 2013, at 07:54, "Robert Woodmansey" <[email protected]> wrote: >> >>> Just how stupid do I look? “Enter your PIN”, grunts the uniformed >>> Neanderthal who has just manhandled my job lot of Filets de Cheval through >>> the checkout at the local branch of “a major supermarket”. Really? And >>> there was me thinking I had to get my cock out and rub it on your funny >>> little machine to make it work…we’ve only had chip and PIN in this country >>> for the last fucking decade, you grotty little serving twerp. Not everyone >>> who passes through the doors of your establishment would lose a battle of >>> wits with the contents of the shelves, or is rendered so feeble and >>> incontinent by dementia that the aisle needs to be mopped after they’ve >>> walked down it. >>> >>> At least, that’s what I should have said. But being British and relatively >>> well-brought-up, I simply paid up and pissed off. There would also have >>> been no point in the above diatribe, because most of the words in it would >>> have been far too long to have registered much more than the merest >>> electro-chemical blip in the junk-food-and-alcopop-stunted frontal lobes of >>> the recipient. Take a look around you the next time you’re queueing at a >>> checkout and you’ll realize that Planet of the Apes was in fact a >>> groundbreaking and prophetic documentary. >>> >>> It’s enough to inspire a degree of sympathy with the 83-year-old Birmingham >>> woman banned for life from her local Tesco for allegedly “bullying” the >>> staff when they neglected to serve her at the deli counter with what she >>> considered the requisite degree of responsiveness. She was only after two >>> slices of ham. Unfortunately, whether or not she is actually guilty of >>> ramming staff with her trolley as alleged, she instantly loses all >>> credibility with her counter-argument to the accusation: “I watch Songs of >>> Praise every week for goodness sake, I hardly go around attacking people”. >>> No, love, not personally perhaps. But on the other hand, you do adhere to a >>> belief system based on fantasy, bigotry and a complete disregard for the >>> established facts of physical science that has over the centuries accounted >>> for untold millions of war dead, embraced torture as a means of determining >>> guilt or innocence, repressed just about every minority you can think of >>> and worst of all still persists to this day as a legitimate component part >>> of our state and government. >>> >>> But I digress. Poking fun at religious fantasists is too easy. At least the >>> lady in question could have been reasonably sure that what she would have >>> got at the deli counter, had she not attempted to emasculate the serving >>> ape with a trolley, originated from a pig, because you can generally see >>> what it is they are flogging you. >>> >>> The issue of the moment as far as supermarkets are concerned appears to be >>> that anything less immediately recognisable, i.e. anything packaged, can no >>> longer be guaranteed to contain precisely what is described on the outside. >>> This is a scandal of titanic proportions, so we are told. Well, what a load >>> of patronising, middle-England Daily Mail-reading bollocks. The British >>> public will quite happily gobble down all manner of rancid, stomach-turning >>> shit, by choice, without batting an eyelid. Why? Because most of the great >>> unwashed know no better, and have grown up on…well…Coke, gristle and chips, >>> basically. >>> >>> How are we topping the international leaderboard in obesity if we are all >>> so fucking particular about what we eat? Does the pallid, acne-ridden >>> job-avoider queueing at the kebab van give an ounce of thought to the >>> contents of that greasy pensioner’s leg revolving so temptingly on the >>> spit? Of course not. No, claiming that this is all a crusade to defend the >>> public’s health is disingenuous at best. The whole thing smells worse than >>> the festering contents of a fatty’s unwashed rolls of flab. >>> >>> Somebody, somewhere wants to stick it to the retail food giants and the >>> meat trade. More than likely, some group of disaffected left-wing >>> vegetarian fairies lurking on the back benches with nothing better to do >>> now that it’s not their turn to fuck the country. The only people who give >>> a toss are the pointless media twats who exist only to perpetuate crises >>> and the politicians who instantly pop their heads up like coked-up >>> pinstripe meerkats the minute there is a whiff of potential airtime. In any >>> case, I can absolutely guarantee you that for well over 90% of the >>> kebab-and-pot-noodle-consuming general population, horse meat would >>> represent a radically beneficial shift in their overall dietary health. >>> >>> So bring it on. Quite apart from anything else, more horse on the menu >>> means fewer fat-arsed equestrian toffee-noses self-righteously blocking up >>> the roads round my way…I just saw Labour's latest political broadcast on >>> immigration and "one nation Labour" and I'm heading form the vomitorium >>> >>> >>> >>> _______________________________________________ >>> Leedslist mailing list >>> Info and options: http://mailman.greennet.org.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist >>> To unsubscribe, email [email protected] >>> >>> MARCHING ON TOGETHER > _______________________________________________ Leedslist mailing list Info and options: http://mailman.greennet.org.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist To unsubscribe, email [email protected] MARCHING ON TOGETHER
