Hello from another Planet... >From the sentence on, this was simply rude and if sarcasm and comedic pleasure was the plan, I think the state of the Union is important AS IS every mother and father of ANY Marine who died for our country.
On Wed, 02 Feb 2005 21:12:34 -0800, Dave Laird <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: >Good evening, Netizens, even those on other planets... > >I, George Head Shrubbery, want you to know that Laura Head Shrubbery and >myself are very proud of the free elections held Sunday in Iraq. Thanks to >the superiority of American technology and graft, the Nation of Iraq held >its first democratic election in as long as I can remember, and legally >elected their first national assembly. Thanks to the bravery of those few >citizens in Iraq willing to ignore the Uzi-submachine gun-toting soldiers >and police eager to collect some graft of their own, the public election >is pronounced as an unquestionable success. > >We have, as our guest tonight, a woman who voted in that election Sunday. >She is sitting immediately in front of a mother and father of one of our >fallen Marines who was assisting Iraq by protecting a herd of camels in >Infidel-held territories in Northern Iraq. [The House and Senate both rise >and applaud, and this time the Joint Chiefs of Staff join them for the >first time all evening]. > >Now about the Social Security crisis. There is no crisis, at least not >yet. You will have lots of new choices, all carefully controlled and >overseen by a select cadre of Halliburton employees, once they return from >helping fight the war in Iraq. We *will* make good Republicans out of >everyone *before* they become eligible for Social Security. We absolutely >guarantee nothing, but your retirement money which is saved under this set >of new programs will be safe as your holdings once were in Enron stock. We >guarantee nothing, other than when you are ready for retirement, your >money will be there waiting for you when *WE* say it is time for your to >retire. > >There are some, mostly Democratic malingerers, who insist we have no exit >strategy to leave Iraq. Nothing could be further from the truth. Tomorrow >I am sending Candyleeza Rice to Israel to negotiate the peace between >Israel and Palestine. Once the Iraqi people see for themselves how well >freedom and liberty is working in the Greater Middle East, they will hand >in their machine guns and invest in baseball cards and NFL clothing in >time for the Super Bowl. That is our exit strategy. Once we pull those >nifty NFL sweatshirts up over their heads, and click our red slippers >together in unison, we'll be back home before anyone knows it! > >In closing, I am proud of the job Homeland Insecurity has done in >protecting our country from terrorists since the horrible events of 9-1-1. >We have managed to carefully spend billions of dollars, without really >appearing to do so, in carefully scripted Republican-controlled >bureaucracies without having anything to show for it. We have denied all >civil liberties for anyone with whom we disagree, and despite all this, >the people from Homeland Insecurity are our heroes. Ask them. They'll tell >you. > >So if you ask me tonight about the State of The Union, all I can say is so >long as we continue to enjoy a Republican majority in the House and >Senate, are physically healthy, Conservative Christian and donate money to >approved charitable institutions, the State of the Union couldn't be >better. > >Dave _______________________________________________ Libnw mailing list [email protected] List info and subscriber options: http://immosys.com/mailman/listinfo/libnw Archives: http://immosys.com/mailman//pipermail/libnw
