Gary,
I read your post with interest and was touched by the emotion your words
carried. I don't have answers for you, even though I am most empathetic to
your experiences and struggles. Each of us has our own path to follow and our
own lessons to understand and learn. So, I am not going to offer you any advice
or give you a Rah! Rah! speech. I know for myself that I very often think that
I understand the information I am reading or receiving and, "I can handle it
very well myself, thank you." But just as often I find that I have been too
eager to act on my perception of things without doing enough personal inner
work to really see how this is going to affect my life and my spiritual goals.
I don't blame you for being discouraged and jaded by your experiences. Sounds
like something I would have done myself. One thing that cleared my vision on
some of these things was when I finally understood that ascension is not an
event. . .it is a process, and a very personal process for each individual. I
have no sense that someone is going to ring a bell or blow the trumpet and
Kazam! all people of a certain vibration will ascend this physical earth. My
personal understanding ( and this may be just for me anyway) is that minute by
minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year,
we are ascending until one day that which we have hoped for, prayed for,
focused on, even begged for, will subtly be the New Heaven and the New Earth
that we have been told about. I know it doesn't seem nearly as dramatic and
climactic as "there shall be two standing in the field and one shall be taken
and the other remain." And the visual impact of thousands rising through the
air to great the Christ seems much grander than this step by step, day by day
process.
In my humble and very personal opinion we as humans are always looking for
things outside of ourselves (teachers, gurus, healers, information, workshops,
books, channellings, movies, TV, etc.) that will give us the answers to all of
our questions, give us guidance, and do the work for us too. I have found in
my life that no one else's understanding of the information or directions of
how to use the information is more valid for me than my own inner guidance. I
am not putting these things down. Whatever helps someone along their path is
exactly what they should be doing. However, when nothing is working, it is a
clear sign to me that I am
not paying attention to my own inner guidance. And believe me when I say that
I am just as human as the rest of you and I am finding very often that I am not
listening to my inner guidance. Sometimes I even claim that I am not getting
any inner guidance.
I use excuses for myself just as often as any one else.
One thing I know for sure that seems to be the deciding factor for everyone of
us is PERSPECTIVE. When we are able to (and I am not always able to either)
view things from the highest possible perspective we can reach, everything on
this physical plain looks and feels different. It certainly rearranges your
priorities and adjusts your focus.
Gary, Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. I send you love and hope
that you will find solace in your own personal understandings and guidance.
With love,
I AM Rayianna (Shirley)
