Laff A Day -- November 1, 1998
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4th Graders Complete the Phrases
As you shall make your so shall you .... mess it up.
Better be safe than .... punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the .... bug is close.
It's always darkest before .... daylight savings time.
You can lead a horse to water but .... how?
Don't bite the hand that .... looks dirty.
A miss is as good as a .... Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new .... math.
If you lie down with the dogs, you'll .... stink in the morning.
The pen is mightier than the .... pigs.
An idle mind is .... the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke, there's .... pollution.
Happy the bride who .... gets all the presents.
A penny saved is .... not much.
Two's company, three's .... the musketeers.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ....
you have to blow your nose.
Children should be seen and not .... spanked or grounded.
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I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all
mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building
---Charles Schulz
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A couple preparing for a religious conversion meets with the
orthodox rabbi for their final session. The rabbi asks if they
have any final questions.
The man asks, "Is it true that men and women don't dance
together?"
"Yes," says the rabbi, "for modesty reasons, men and women
dance separately."
"So I can't dance with my own wife?"
"No."
"Well, okay," says the man, "but what about sex?"
"Fine," says the rabbi. "A mitzvah within the marriage!"
"What about different positions?" the man asks.
"No problem," says the rabbi.
"Woman on top?" the man asks.
"Why not?" replies the rabbi.
"How about doggie-style?"
"Of course!"
"Well, what about standing up?"
"NO!" says the rabbi, "It could lead to dancing!"
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TOP FIVE REASONS MULDER AND SCULLY DON'T PIRATE SOFTWARE
1. Software piracy frowned upon even at the highest levels.
2. "Cloning" software is not something Cancer Man had in mind.
3. Pirated software likely to contain virus that will mutate
your computer.
4. Punishment for pirating software: Forced cross-breeding with
Aliens at Area 51.
5. You can't keep software piracy a secret. The truth is out
there at: http://www.nopiracy.com
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