Laff A Day -- November 2, 1998
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The ambitious coach of a girls track team gives the squad
steroids to help them out a bit. The team's performance soars.
They win the county and state championships and are favored to
win the national competition easily.
Penelope, a sixteen year old hurdler visits her coach and says,
"Coach, I have a problem. Hair is starting to grow on my chest."
"What?" the coach says in a panic, "how far down does the
hair go?"
She replies, "All the way down to my balls."
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My mother didn't breast-feed me. She said she liked me as
a friend.
---Rodney Dangerfield
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One day a very young polar bear was sitting on an ice drift,
watching his father trying to catch fish, when he asked,
"Dad, am I a full-blooded polar bear?"
His father replied, "Sure son, you're full blooded."
The young bear asked, "Are you positive that I'm 100% polar
bear, Dad?"
"Yes, son, I'm sure. Your mother's a polar bear, I'm a
polar bear..."
"But Dad, are you sure there's not a little brown bear in me?"
"Yes son, I'm sure."
"Are you really sure, Dad, that there's not just a little black
bear in me?"
"Yes, son, you're all polar bear."
"Maybe just a little grizzly bear in me, Dad?"
"No way, son, no way," replied the papa bear. "Why are you
asking these questions?"
The little polar bear replied, "Because, Dad,
I'm freezing my ASS off out here!"
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Never raise your hand to your children...it leaves your midsection
unprotected.
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TOP FIVE REASONS MULDER AND SCULLY DON'T PIRATE SOFTWARE
1. Software piracy frowned upon even at the highest levels.
2. "Cloning" software is not something Cancer Man had in mind.
3. Pirated software likely to contain virus that will mutate
your computer.
4. Punishment for pirating software: Forced cross-breeding with
Aliens at Area 51.
5. You can't keep software piracy a secret. The truth is out
there at: http://www.nopiracy.com
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